Kim Kardashian says she wants to be single in 2011. Is it a good idea to swear off dating?
Kim Kardashian doesn't keep very much confidential, especially when it comes to her relationships, but that's going to change in 2011, as the reality star has sworn off dating. Kim Kardashian Dumps Gabriel Aubry
In an interview on The Rachel Ray Show, Kim revealed she wants to try being alone for a change. The reality star, who was most recently linked to Halle Berry's ex Gabriel Aubry, also explains her decision by saying she's never done what she's wanted in a relationship and between all her projects, she hardly has the time to put her focus on someone else. Kim did admit she may run in to trouble in 2011 because she's a hopeless romantic. Love Trends In 2011: Our 10 predictions
Aw, aren't we all Kim? But, is swearing off dating completely a good idea? Love stylist and YourTango Expert Tristan Coopersmith disagrees. She questions Kim motiviations for making such a resolution because her hiatus will only work if she's going to use her time to really heart-search. An honest search inside will "reveal where the lack has been in her relationships thus showcasing the shifts she needs to make in order to achieve a healthy, happy, sustainable relationship."
We've all been in Kim's shoes. We've been in relationships that have, for one reason or another, fallen short. Taking some time for ourselves to reevaluate our love life and dating habits isn't only beneficial but sometimes necessary. This is why it's important we do so for the right reasons. When Kim says she's never been in a relationship and done what she wanted, it's not about not being in a relationship. It's about not being in the right one. What Rich Women Want: George Clooney
Coopersmith believes divorcing oneself from the prospect of love won’t solve your problems, but understanding why you see men who limit you or why you can’t vocalize your needs will. Moreover, setting aside your relationships for work isn't a valid reason for a "mencation," because women can always make time if something worthwhile comes along. When Kim does meet the right man, "he'll naturally fall into the rhythm of her life, because her life is better because of him."
"Hanging up a permanent 'do not disturb' sign to something as healthy as love can be self-defeating. From Kim’s statement, it doesn’t seem like she has a real motivation for her love hiatus, or at least not one she is sharing, publicly. If she thinks something magical will happen at the end of 2011, she is fooling herself. In order to blossom, you have to water your garden, you can’t just starve it," Coopersmith said.
In Coopersmith's mind, our ex-loves lead to our next loves. From every failed relationship, we learn something new about ourselves and about our partners. We're reminded not only of the qualities we desire in a relationship, but also of the qualities we don't. We know what to look for in the future, what really makes us happy and what doesn't. It's about using our past experiences and/or disappointments, not running from them. For The Love Of Dating
Sure, staying single has its advantages. You don't have to worry about dividing your attention between your home and work life, you're financially independent and you don't need to check in with anyone about where you are or what you're doing. But, it also has its disadvantages. It can be very lonely, and your life may lack intimacy, not to mention having to explain to everyone why you're "still" single. Yet, Coopersmith finds these advantages become irrelevant when you are with the "right" person.
If not a year without men, how else can Kim find romantic bliss? And how can we?
For starters, we can date men we normally would not. Kim goes weak in the knees for football players, and maybe you go weak in the knees for bad boys. It's time to change it up! Next, we can "silence outsiders," i.e., Kris Jenner or your closest friend, telling us how or whom to date. Ultimately, it's our choice, and quieting outside input can help us "determine what matters most to us." After all, as Coopersmith so eloquently put it, dating is love’s greatest teacher and if your (and Kim's) goal is to have a gorgeously rich, fulfilling relationship, how can a year without love get you closer to that? Keeping Up With Kim Kardashian's Dating Spree
Is a year without dating a good idea?