I Married The Grinch

By

santa dragging tree
How we make our marriage work around the holidays.

The next year, I resolved to trap my husband into helping me by making a delicious snack platter and placing the ornament boxes in front of the TV. This only garnered his grudging cooperation. But even that wasn't good enough for me. I wanted us singing Christmas songs in harmony and snuggling with hot chocolate in front of the lights. He didn't understand why the Christmas lights even needed to stay on. "It's a total waste of electricity," he muttered. And once again, my visions of holiday happiness crumbled.

By our fourth Christmas as a couple, I'd learned some valuable lessons about marriage and my relationship with my husband that made me approach Christmas in a whole new way. This time, instead of forcing him to comply with my visions of what I wanted our Christmas to be, I asked him what would make him want to participate in the holiday cheer and, together, we came up with a game plan for the holidays. Becoming Mrs. Claus: A Christmastime Love Story

Instead of blasting Christmas music, we put on a Christmas movie. I still made a platter of cookies, but instead of insisting he help with every little detail, we divided the tasks. He lifted the boxes up and down the stairs and made sure the ornaments had hooks. I trimmed the tree and set out the decorations. That Christmas, we had a wonderful time, just the two of us, and this year and we didn't hit any sort of Grinchy snafus. This year, my husband got out the decorations without me even asking. And didn't once complain about my warbly renditions of "Go Tell It On The Mountain" or the fact that I left the tree lights on all night.

I'd like to say my husband is no longer a Grinch, but the truth is, the majority of my holiday unhappiness came from myself and my fantasies of what our Christmastime should look like. By inviting my husband into the creation of our holidays, I got what I really wanted: quality time with my Grinch.

How do you handle holidays as a couple?