How we make our marriage work around the holidays.
I totally love Christmas. I love the cookies and the cold and my neighbor's icicle lights. I even love the tacky, depressing tinsel in the airports and that horrible two-bit version of "O Tannenbaum" that plays from the dancing Christmas tree. I love it all.
The problem is that my husband doesn't like Christmas. He can't stand Christmas music and the crowds make him claustrophobic and he doesn't understand the point in setting up decorations for a month, only to take them down again. The only thing he likes to do around Christmas is eat cookies and watch The Grinch. But he only watches it up until the Grinch steals Christmas. He doesn't like the rest. The 10 Most Common Holiday Fights And How To Avoid Them
When we were dating, I thought he was kidding. I thought it was part of that macho man stance that to this day will not allow him to admit that he actually likes the Winterberry scented candle I buy every year in the fall. My first Thanksgiving with his family, I won their admiration by volunteering to help his mom with the Christmas tree. "My boys just don't help," she confided in me as we hung homemade ornaments. "Why don't you just make them?" I asked naively. She laughed.
Our first Christmas as a married couple, I had very specific visions of how I wanted us to celebrate. And it involved matching scarves, frisky snowball fights and decorating our apartment while Christmas music crooned softly in the background. That year, my husband came with me to pick out a tree and he put it up in the stand. But then he sat down on the couch, turned on the TV and tuned me and my good tidings out. I, of course, responded by getting upset. And then I was upset because I was upset on Christmas. It was all downhill from there. Three hours later, I had decorated the tree amid gripes, nags and sniffles, and I wasn't feeling any sort of goodwill toward men. Scaling Back For The Holidays Helped Me Heal