8 Ways To Close The Door On A Failed Relationship

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Woman closing the door on a man
Whether it's writing a letter, painting a picture or moving cross-country, here's how to let go.

3. Weird-ass rituals. As a person who considers myself "spiritually eclectic" (I'll explain some other time), I love performing weird-ass rituals that mean something only to me. I highly recommend printing out all the emails that the person ever sent you, lighting them on fire, and burying the ashes under your favorite tree. Or make up your own random ritual that is simpatico with your religious or spiritual beliefs. The point is to try to lay the past to rest. The Frisky: A Study Shows That A Breakup Feels Like Cocaine Withdrawal

4. Art. Art! Art! Art! Paint it, collage it, photograph it. Make art about it. I have an entire sketchbook of awful collages and watercolor paintings that got me through college. No one will EVER see them, but I don't care. If you are gifted in this way, I'm jealous!
5. Reflection. Ruminate on both the good and the bad of the relationship, so that you don't: A) totally idealize it or B) reactively hate the person. The more clarity you have on a situation, the easier it will be to sort out your feelings and gain insight about the situation. This may even be helpful to do with a counselor or therapist or a good friend. If you're a list person, a good old-fashioned pro-and-con should do the trick. Every time I break up with a dude or a friend, I write a list of all of the things I didn't like about them and all of the things I learned about myself. Then I can refer to it in the future if need be.

 

6. Reclaiming. Take the memories back! That Italian restaurant you both loved, your favorite dive bar or music venue, the bench you sat on to watch the sunset—do all the things you loved doing together on your own. Make new memories dammit ... alone!

7. Change of scenery. Sometimes the best way to get a fresh perspective on a life situation is to get away for a while. Go on a retreat/vacation, move to a new neighborhood, or just redecorate. Get out of your bubble. When your environment changes so does your state of mind. New states of mind are conducive to change. The Frisky: 6 Lessons From My Last Breakup That Are Getting Me Through This One

8. Forgiveness. This is so easy to say and so hard to do. Closure requires forgiveness either of yourself or others. Forgiveness takes time. And time is really the only way to heal from a major loss in your life. Unfortunately, time is something we have no control over. Yeah, that kind of sucks, but be patient with and kind to yourself. You never know when forgiveness will happen or exactly how long it will take, but sometimes you just wake up one day and that stupid rock has miraculously fallen out of your shoe. You may not know why or how, but it did. That is the moment that you’re ready to walk on. Only more comfortably.

Written by Ami Angelowicz for The Frisky.

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