How Not To Handle The Holidays: A Singles Guide

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Woman holding up mistletoe
Everything you need to know about surviving the holidays solo.

Here we are betwixt Thanksgiving and New Year's, the meat of the forced-festivity sandwich. (A bit of an aside—when did Hanukkah start so early? I don't remember being a kid and lighting that first candle in July. Yet here we are, just easing into December, and it's already over.) lemondrop: Holiday Grinchiness

Houses and stores are bedecked, people are hanging out with their loved ones, holiday parties are giving us an excuse to binge-eat pumpkin bread and drink brandy at work. It's really a magical time of year, a final spasm of goodwill before February turns us all into deep depressives.

Only my seasonal affective disorder usually starts a little earlier, like say, SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

The holidays, and winter in general, are for couples. lemondrop: Seasonal Shopaholism—5 Tips To Avoid Overspending This Year

I swear, I'm not beating my usual "life is cruel for us singles" drum, because we pretty much own spring and summer. In winter, though, people pair off and disappear like the end of a key party, and we're of just left sitting there on the couch in our Fair Isle sweaters, wondering where everybody went.

While couples are intertwined in front of fireplaces, spoon-feeding one another stew, us single people are slumped in our chairs like Bob Cratchit, warming our fingers in front of a glowing Monk marathon.

After 30-some years of being single, I haven't become inured to getting a little down about it. Who ever gets used to not having somebody to take home to their mother or to introduce around at the work party or, hell, even buy something goofy for? lemondrop: Mortifying Holiday Office Party Moments

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Written by [Redacted] Guy for lemondrop.

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