Singing Lingerie Models Help Holiday Spirits Rise?

From the "Christmas Cheer Has Gotten Out Of Hand" files: Canadian lingerie company La Senza introduced the Cup Size Choir just in time for the holidays. The choir is comprised of models showcasing bra sizes from A to G and flirtatiously piping out Deck the Halls while lying on white mattresses. Each model "sings" her bra size (aka the corresponding note on the diatonic scale).

Great. Now it's not enough to dress up and sing carols... we have to undress and sing carols, too?

This idea is cute, if a little high-minded. Unfortunately, the execution is way off-key. Because each woman is singing a single note at a time, some of the solos sound more like erotic moans or purrs than singing. None of the women really get to sing at all... they each just squeak out one note while writhing on cue. The models have all obviously been directed to exhibit the same emotion: "Ooh, ooh, I'm so turned on by singing one note on cue." Cue eyeroll.

The camera work is manic (no doubt because they're trying to showcase not one but seven sets of frillies in one ad spot), and flits from girl to girl so quickly that you can't really tell who's singing, much less tell them apart. They overall effect is a little funny, and a little creepy.

The creep factor is not helped by the way the women are posed, lying on side-by-side mattresses. I think they're supposed to look like piano keys, but it doesn't read visually. And the idea that we're supposed to be turned on by women who can be "played" and made to sing and squirm about is a little odder still. (The Cup Size Choir website offers an interactive version and helpfully offers the instruction "Use your keyboard to play the girls!")

Lingerie companies are notorious for their off-key holiday ad offerings (the last few artsy Victoria's Secret holiday ads have been truly bizarre) but lining up a bunch of hot women on mattresses right gives the whole endeavor a "which would you like, sire?" feel. Somehow, I don't think that's what La Senza was going for.

Then again, let's be realistic: most of the men seeing this ad are not going to judge it on artistic merit, and La Senza knows this. According to The Daily Mail, the company has stressed that the film's target audience is men who are Christmas shopping for their lovers. It makes sense, I guess... men might not be sure where to shop for their lady love if she's got smaller or larger than average assets. And it's certainly gotten the company the attention they desired. The YouTube video of the ad has almost 1.5 million hits at the time of this writing.

I do love La Senza, even if their latest ad itself squicks me a little. Their lingerie is adorable, and I appreciate that it comes in a wider range of sizes than the normal Victoria's Secret fare. I also love their willingness to showcase plus-size models alongside the "normal" models, and it's clear the brand has a sense of humor. The "bra notes" idea itself is clever. It's just too bad that the ad they ended up making showcases the scantily clad songbirds in such a passive, boring fashion.

Confidential to La Senza's marketing team: Personalities are sexy, underwear people! Yes, even to men! I promise!