Bargaining is a last ditch attempt at coming to terms with the decision to divorce. If you are the leaver, it is during this stage that you will either realize you’ve made the right decision or a mistake.
If you are the leavee this is the stage where you will begin to pursue your husband/wife. You want them back at all costs to you and your self-esteem. The thing to remember is; they will also go through the Bargaining Stage. If they have made a mistake they will realize it and undo that which they have set in motion.
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You’ll be in bed or in front of the television for most of this stage. Sadness, debilitating sadness becomes your constant companion. This is the one stage we all expect. We know that depression is going to hit, what we don’t realize is that depression can go hand in hand with all the stages of grief.
You may not bathe for three days during the Denial Stage. Hair care takes a back seat during the Anger Stage, so much so that you begin to look like Hagalina Magalina.
You’re smart though and have surrounded yourself with a good support system. You’ve gotten into therapy and counseling because the support of family and friends goes a long way but there is no substitute for expert advice during the depression that accompanies divorce.
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You’ll love this stage. When it hits you’ll throw your head back and laugh. There is light at the end of the tunnel and life ahead. You’ve moved through adversity and learned from it. Full steam ahead!
Be warned though, acceptance doesn’t mean you don’t still have negative emotions about your divorce. You may still feel some anger; there may still be sadness at the loss of your marriage.
You’ve learned to “accept” the reality of the situation though. You may always have feelings of regret over the loss of your marriage BUT it is regret you can live with. You are no longer stuck in the grief…if lucky you are no longer grieving. If there are still feelings of grief they are at least no longer holding you back from living life.
Submitted by Cathy Meyer for Divorced Women Online
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