Lila here~ Well guys, it’s that time of year again. The holidays are upon us once more. Which would be fine; I have nothing against mistletoe, eggnog, cookies or family gatherings. It’s the gift giving that does me in.
I know I’m not the only one. And believe me, I feel for you guys, because it’s even worse for you. At least you guys are straightforward about what you want. I’m sorry to admit this, but I’m not telling you something you don’t already know.
Women are notorious for saying things like, “Oh, I don’t need anything,” or, “You know what I like, surprise me.” My mom used to say that all the time and it drove me nuts (as much as I love her!). That’s woman-code for “if you loved me, you wouldn’t have to ask.” It’s not very evolved and not all women are like that, but lots are.
You know you’re not mind readers, and your women should know that too. I’m doing my part; I talk about it all the time in my Romance Recovery blogs which are geared toward women. But women are socialized to be indirect. From an early age, we’re taught both subtly and directly, that it’s not polite for a girl to ask for what she wants. Times are changing, but not quickly enough.
I’m here today to level the playing field in case you’re with one of those women who didn’t get the message that it’s cool to be direct. Here are some tips:
Ask her directly for several ideas she’d like. You can be a little sneaky and tell her it’s for someone else, like your parents or her sister, if you think you need to.
Snoop. This is one time when the Booty Doctors recommend snooping. Look through her medicine cabinet to find out what her favorite fragrance and cosmetics are. Look through her lingerie drawer to find her sizes. Yes, sizes. Bras come in sizes 32A-… well, the sky’s nearly the limit, but most women are sizes 32A-38D. If you can’t find the size, here’s a little guide: A cups are barely mounds, B cups are a handful, C cups are a little more than a handful, and D cups are nearly two handfuls per breast. As for the band size, 32 is extra small in t-shirts, 34 is a small, 36 is medium and 38 is large. Panties and most other lingerie is simpler, running extra small to large or extra large.
A caveat on buying lingerie: if you haven’t bought lingerie for your woman before, tread lightly. Buy something more conservative than you’d like personally, unless you’ve seen your woman’s wild side. And lots of women are paranoid that either their butts or their bellies are too big. A nice teddy or chemise should do the trick. Go to a lingerie specialty store; the sales associates there are used to helping men and will be happy to help you.
Think romantic. If snooping (hey, or shopping) isn’t your style, get a gift card to a fancy restaurant. On the card, write something like, “Let’s make this night special. Wear your favorite dress and I’ll pick you up at 8pm.”