Sexually Dysfunctional Guy: Oh, man, never again, I say. I'd rather deal with all the other four types on this list combined before I deal with anyone's repeated inability to get it up, premature ejaculation, or nonexistent/incompatible sex drive. Hear me when I tell you that unresolved bedroom issues never stay there. I'm not sure I can even write the behaviors I've seen from these guys in the club. Suffice to say, they get really excited really easily. Cruelly, this dysfunction often comes in a really nice package, pun intended, so you'll want to keep trying, even though the encounters are always frustrating and disappointing. He might make a show about being above something as base as sexual desire, to which I say take that monastic act to a monastery. You can't change or fix his issues. Find one of those millions of men who want to please, and tell the other guy to call you after he's done with therapy.
The Misogynist: Why is he so angry with us? Not breastfed? Abusive mom? Taken in a divorce? I don't know, but there's a type of man who frequents strip clubs purely to be a jerk to women. Not in a pickup artist's "negging" way, but in a truly hostile manner. He can do this in the club because we'll act like his BS is charming in order to get his money, because that means we win, and because we don't care what he thinks about us. At first, his anger may manifest as sarcastic wit, and you might think, "Wow, what a funny guy!" Sarcasm isn't known as misdirected anger for nothing. He's really, really mad about something, and while you're not in personal danger with the misogynist, you'll realize pretty soon that no one can live on hate-sex alone.
Written by Bubbles Burbujas for The Frisky
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