Best Of The Web: Marriage Rules & Tokophobia

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strange couple
First date logic, serial monogamy and dating a Sagittarius!

And my friend Simone Grant thinks she may need a tattoo. As a woman in her late 30s, she has to constantly explain to guys that she is not interested in stealing your sperm while you're asleep to FINALLY assuage this constant and earth-rending baby craving and somehow muffle the clanging and clicking of this biological grandfather clock.

But sometimes biology does us a favor. According to The Awl (and science!) ladies may avoid their dad when menstruating just to make sure they don't accidentally have kids with webbed feet or curly tails, in the case of the Buendia family.

Well, all ya'll marry your fathers anyway. I kid. The Plunge has actually good ideas for when you want to marry a regular guy who is not your dad. Print it, slip it under his door, leave a hint somewhere with your ring size and go ahead and book that chapel.

And while buying your own ring and giving him the invoice is a rule you should never break, Glo has ten marriage rules that you can pitch in the waste bin.

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