Using your child as a messenger
Avoiding your ex at all costs may make sense, but your child shouldn't have to pay the price. "Stay on good enough terms with your ex so that you can talk because it's terribly hard on kids [to act as a go-between]," says Lansky. The stress of the split is hard enough. Avoid burdening your children with messages for your ex, "even if they are trite." Email is an easy solution. There are also web sites that allow parents to plan visitation, exchange contacts and more.