Women who don't know me well, however, often hate me. Many find me obnoxious; others (I have learned by way of their boyfriends) feel threatened by me. The irony is that I am the one who is secretly threatened by them. They are the women who have gotten though life—and successfully attracted male attention—by being their authentic selves. They can get the boys without trying too hard, without the desperate, clichéd flirting tactics. (Oops! I dropped my pencil. I'd better bend over and pick it up. Good thing I'm wearing this short skirt!)
Being myself was something I could never do, and I repressed that girl, purging her from existence. Who I have become—and the only me everyone knows—is Jenn the Flirt. Sure I'm more secure than I've ever been, but even at 30 years old, I still have those days where I'm the ugly duckling searching for immediate male validation in order to feel valued.
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Strangers of the male persuasion, however, regularly misinterpret my flirting, assuming that I want to sleep with them. And that's just not true. Think about it: we flirts are usually aggressive, assertive and comfortable with our sexuality (if not secure all around). Thus, if we wanted to sleep with you, I wouldn't passively lure your pants off by making sexual puns while batting my bedroom eyes. Flirty women are forward; if we want you, we'll let you know without beating around the bush, so to speak.
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Now that I'm married, I flirt a little bit less, though there are still those times when I'm oblivious, and someone has to shake me into reality (usually my husband, who squeezes my hand and whispers a stern "that's enough"). Ultimately, if I ever have a daughter, I'll tell her that while a wink and a smile are harmless and might win her some admirers, the most gratifying attention will come from just being herself. Expert: Why Flirting Is Good For Your Love Life