Getting Over A Breakup...Guy Style

By

Three men drinking shots
A dude's perspective on how to survive being dumped.

DUCK HUNT
You don't have to hunt ducks, specifically, but there's something about firing a gun (at a living animal, or maybe just one of those life-sized paper human targets) that relieves all of one's stress. I grew up in New Jersey and reside in Los Angeles so I have not had many opportunities to hunt. Maybe it's just my warped mind, but I think shooting at things (alive or inanimate) would do wonders for my mood. Should you decide to go the animal route, I suggest you hunt something small and defenseless, because your ex always was a bit … impotent, right?

THE OBVIOUS
Immediately following any breakup, half of your friends will suggest you go out and sleep with somebody else. The other half will tell you that's the worst possible decision you can make. I'm not going to tell you one way or the other which is best, because you really have to know yourself to predict how you will react. I had an insane crush on a girl when I was 22 that I thought was going to lead to a relationship, and when she finally rejected me, I was devastated. A friend advised the obvious. So, I called a girl I knew I could sleep with and I met her at her apartment.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a night I care to remember. Let's just say … I called her the wrong name. In that instance, I wasn't ready. Just before I decided to move to L.A., a girl I was fooling around with fed me a poor excuse for why we couldn't see each other anymore, so I called up a girl who'd recently made known her intentions to screw my brains out. It was the perfect antidote for a broken heart. A month later, she and I crashed and burned in one of the most brilliant, awkward flameouts of all time, but that's a story I'll have to share some other time.

AA IS FOR SUCKERS
I never drank much in high school or college. In hindsight, this was a good thing. Had I drank to drown sorrows then as much as I have in my mid-20s, I might have died. I cannot condone binge drinking, but a steady buzz for a couple weeks is a really good way to get over the initial shock of rejection or separation. Relationship detox through intoxication can be a lifesaver. Who knows, you might stumble up to the bar to order a drink and crack a joke to the guy or girl seated next to you. Before you know it, you're making a connection with someone new. You might also die from drinking too much, but it's best not to think about worst-case scenarios at times such as these. Really, the best thing to do is just give yourself a set amount of time in which to go nuts, and then compose yourself and focus on the more important aspects of your recovery process. The Frisky: The Deal With Post-Breakup Friendships