Keep in mind that just about anyone with money can splurge for a glamorous winter holiday, but a truly valuable relationship is one that makes you happy throughout the year. "Taking a moment to remember the worth of your relationship and your own worth as a companion can lessen the stress of finding just the right present," Daitch says.
3. Discuss your financial situation. "Money is probably the biggest stressor on a relationship," Spira says. Since so much of the holidays involves money—gift-giving and travel are two biggies—keeping an eye on your finances is especially important this time of the year.
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Spira suggests that "couples talk about holiday travel in advance, especially as it relates to finances. Who is going to pay the bills? Is there a budget?"
If your spouse or boyfriend is under- or unemployed, "Don't make him feel like a failure," say Spira. "Try to encourage him that it will get better, restructure your romantic life to take-out food at home by candlelight, and make sure you talk about revising your budget."
4. When it comes to family, acknowledge the good AND the bad. "No one knows how to push our buttons better than our families of origin—the people who installed the buttons to begin with," says Daitch. If picturing the positives lies beyond the scope of your imagination, she recommends this visual exercise: Place everything you dislike about a particular person in one palm, and make a fist containing your resentment. Do the same thing, but with what you appreciate about the person, in your other hand.
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"Bring both hands together and slowly place both hands over your heart, mingling the negative feelings of annoyance and irritation with feelings of endearment," Daitch says. "Allow both types of feelings to exist simultaneously and appreciate one right along with the other." 9 Tips For A Successful Visit With The Family