Facebook fighting between couples is increasingly common. Should relationship problems be shared?
The New York Times had an interesting piece about kids today and how they use Facebook as a tool to air their relationship dirty laundry. The article talks about two soon-to-be-married 22-year-olds who have a nasty little habit of embarrassing themselves with childish Facebook tiffts and melodramatic status updates. The two also frequently change their relationship statuses from "engaged" to "It's complicated." They laugh off all these theatrics and assure the paper they still plan to marry this May. Good luck! Marriage And Health: Damned If You Do And Don't
The Times is in awe of this phenomenon, partially due to the fact we all know the type. Each one of us has a stormy duo nestled in our Facebook friend list who's schizophrenic statuses make our newsfeed feel like a simulated social networking soap opera (which is why we used that handy and oh-so-brilliant "hide" feature). The Times seems to think this might be harmful to relationships and may signify a degradation of the sanctity of marriage:
'From the Victorian era through the 1950s, marriage was viewed as the source of all safety from a predatory world,' said Michael Vincent Miller, a psychologist and the author of the book Intimate Terrorism: The Crisis of Love in an Age of Disillusion. Striving for that ideal, he said, meant keeping your disagreements private, 'to keep a public face of harmony.'
But as the counterculture of the 1960s and 1970s ushered in a new openness among married couples, 'that ideal of marriage began to pass away,' he said. Soon, the idea that lovers should present a united front at all times came to seem quaint or even naïve, particularly to a generation raised on Oprah and Jerry Springer.
Today, popular representations of marriage tend toward 'two very self-protective egos at war with one another,' Mr. Miller said, 'each wanting vindication and to be right by showing that the other is wrong.'
Should your hubby's inability to take out the garbage (or satisfy you emotionally) be something everyone on Facebook knows? Is there any benefit to oversharing? Like in the case of the new show "The Marriage Ref" where marital fights are weighed like court cases, does it truly take a village to raise a relationship? Relationship Coaching and Sexuality Education with Dr. Ruthie
While we don't think public mudslinging makes relationships stronger, we won't blame it for why they crumble either. This is the era of Too Much Information. People blog about their one night stands like they do the weather, we double-click on pantyless celebrity shots, and thanks to the tabloid magazine industry we know all about Tiger Woods' affinity for hair-pulling and spanking. We've grown desensitized, and maybe even a little bored, of these details (see the "hide" feature reference above). Porn Star Is Publishing Tiger Woods' Sexy Texts
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