3. Cleanse past relationships.
Think of your exes. What comes to mind? If it's anything other than love, you have some work to do. The images and feelings that arise in your memory color how you experience your current relationships. Learn to forgive. No matter how bad your past relationship was, it taught you exactly what you needed to learn.
4. Recognize change and use it to grow.
Part of healing past relationships is embracing change. In Buddhist philosophy, this understanding is the foundation of wisdom. There's no start without a finish, no beginning without an end, no life without death. Your relationship will transform as you each evolve. As spiritual partners, your job is to love and support each other through this process. Use change for growth—don't fight it.
5. Cultivate a daily meditation practice.
If you want to see a wise, loving, spiritual partner, you must be that yourself. Create a daily practice that includes meditation, prayer or deep contemplation. There are a multitude of studies that prove the mental and physical health benefits of meditation. Learning to get still and meditate well is just like anything else: it takes training. Find and practice a method that speaks to you and connects you to something higher. The time and attention you give your meditation practice determines the results you will get. And don't let it scare you—you can start with just a few minutes a day. For guidance, check out The Tibetan Book of Meditation or dhamma.org. How Meditation Led Me To True Love
6. Get physical, every day.
Touch, intimacy and connection are essential ingredients of spiritual partnerships. A satisfying intimate relationship starts with having a body that you feel good in. Yogic teachings explore the subtle energetic connections we have with each other. In order to access these deeper dimensions, your physical form must be healthy. Commit to a healthy diet that works with your needs. Commit to an exercise regimen that enlivens you. Do something fun! Turn yourself on, and watch what happens in your intimate partnership…
7. Face your demons.
We all have baggage, right? We all have shadows that we don't want to see. Being in a spiritual partnership requires that we grow up into the person we were meant to be. An essential step is bringing what we most deny in ourselves into the open. Partnerships are challenging. Your relationship is going to bring all your darkness to the surface. This is usually when the relationship ends, or when the "blame game" starts. Resolve instead to help each other work through the psychological issues that arise. And don't think they won't arise! Find a good coach or therapist, as necessary. Do this work and watch your hearts flower and your minds expand. Otherwise your own shadows will inevitably undo your relationship.
8. Plan a date with an Angel, twice a month (at least!).
How you treat your relationship will create the results you experience. Is this the most special person on the planet to you? If so, how should you treat them? If you relate to them as a sacred being, they will be. If you treat them as ordinary, they will be. Make a commitment that you will have a "Date with an Angel" twice a month. Remember the blissful feelings when you first met and recreate those times. Dress up, go out to the best restaurant, or make his/her favorite meal at home. Take time to make everything special. Think about what they would like: flowers, gifts, the works! Plant the seeds to experience a sacred partner, and watch those seeds ripen into enchanted experiences.
9. Align your visions.
A spiritual partnership is all about supporting each other's deepest desires. In order to stay together, your two visions must align. Ask each other: What do you most wish for? What is calling you? Explore these questions with courage and honesty. Your visions do not need to agree, but they need to align. Find the common aspects of both of your visions for the future. Maybe one of you wants to live abroad, while the other wants to live near family. Instead of getting caught in dualism, look for "third ways." We can move mom with us! Or live each place 6 months a year. Be creative, open and positive. When you work from a place of love, solutions can always be found. Finding Religion After Finding The One
10. Go for your dreams
We are all meant to be the heroes of our own lives. No one can do it for you, even your spiritual partner. The best thing you can do for your relationship is to become the being you dream of, the being you were born to be.
Take 10 quiet minutes alone, and do the following contemplation:
Imagine the end of your life. You are happy, healthy 100 years old.
You have accomplished everything you most dream of. No regrets, nothing left undone.
The 3 people you are closest to get up to speak of everything you have done and what they admire about you.
Spend some time writing down what they said.
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Now, step into that dream. A spiritual partnership is a beautiful, powerful method to help you achieve a perfect relationship and anything else your heart desires. Because in the end, it all comes down to love.
It's ancient wisdom for modern times.
Kimberley Theresa is an expert in Buddhism, yoga, mysticism and psychology. She is the co-Founder and Executive Director of the Yoga Studies Institute (YSI), a global not-for-profit organization that trains yoga teachers on the inner and outer methods of yoga. Prior to YSI, she had a successful 15-year career in the corporate world. She will be teaching three special workshops on relationships, finding your calling and developing a daily spiritual practice in New York City March 26, 27 and 28. Visit her website for more details.