Hi!

I am having problems in my relationship. We have been dating for 3 years now and he has been unemployed for 2 of them. We have been happy, but recently I am so fed up with this unemployment saga. He is looking for work, but has been on numerous interviews (he works in the financial field) and has not gotten one single job. He is educated and has his MBA. I am getting frustrated waiting for him to get a job and move our relationship forward. I am an attorney and work hard at my job and expect him to do the same. Before I had this current job, I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet. He has only had 1 or 2 short term temp jobs in the whole 2 years...he went through his saving and now his parents are paying. Before the job situation, we were talking about marriage, but since then it has been a downslide. He says he still wants those things, but I am seeing all my friends settle down and I can't help but want it too.

He is really a wonderful man, but stuck in a rut and trying to escape, but being unemployed for 2 years does not help his resume. We were so in sync before...liked the same movies, tv, had similar goals. He always made me feel so special and loved. He gives me compliments. He has always included me in his family affairs and I really love them too. He does sweet things like Showing up at my apartment just to kiss me goodnight...taking my kitten to the vet when he was sick...taking me to work when it was too cold to be outside...going home for Christmas with me...Sending cute text msgs. His sweet demeanor made me fall in love with him and I am afraid that the unemployment situation has sucked that love away. He is distracted.

One thing has always upset me greatly is his lateness. He is chronically late, which we have talked about and he has modified a lttle, but still not one time. There is always some excuse. I am not so unreasonable timeliness at all times, things do come up, but with him it happens so often. I expect people to run late occasionally, but I make the effort to meet people on time and he should do the same. I can't get this through to him. Is this a sign that he doesn't respect or value my time? He says it is not, but I find this a huge flaw.

Recently he has been very quiet when we talk on the phone. I live in Chicago and he lives in the burbs so we make it a point to chat on the phone a lot. He gets frustrated with me easily and does not find the happiness in very much these days. I feel like I have to make all the plans and he won't commit to anything saying 'We'll see" or "I don't know" Also, he stays up very late and falls asleep on the couch, which hurts me since we really only get to sleep in the same bed on the weekends together. Shouldn't he want to spend that time with me and not the tv? Is this just the depression from the unemployment?

I don't know what to do. I really do love him, but I don't know how much longer I can wait for him to dig himself out of this...I am terrified that this may happen again in the future. I understand the predicament that he is in, but am I suppose to just wait it out? I am not good at that...my type A personality is not patient! I seem to get frustrated with him so easily recently which make me feel awful that I am adding to his stress. I thought that this was it when I met him, it just flowed so incredibly easily. I had never had a relationship be that effortlessly easy or fun. I wanted to marry him...I am ready. I still do. I thought that was the path we were on and to have that disappear is very scary. I don't want to waste any more time on this relationship if it is not salvagable.

Please help me make this situaton a little clearer. I need some guidance. My patience is absolutely worn down and I need some help! Thanks so much!

--Valerie