Third Time a Charm

We have FINALLY recognized the extreme importance of very expicitly stating what we are comfortable with, and very meticulously stating arrangements might work to mitigate threats to the relationship and ensure time and focus stay on our primary partner and relationship, to compromise so that both of us recieve our own life enhancing "rewarding social interactions" (as he's referred to it),  to feel secure and important to the other, to support each other in the spirit of compersion, to break free of social dogma-defend-stand up for each other and be proud, and most of all, to enhance each others lives in ways others may never experience.  Neither one of us are interested, at the moment ,in polyamory which involves outside emotional attachments. Our own comfort level mutually excludes emotional attachments. (A kind of emotional monogomy). But if we can get this down..our relationship may evolve to being very fluid...we may evolve towards a polyamorous bent..or we may completely close it off and become conventionally monogomous. The relationship may fluidly evolve from one end to the other. In a perfect world..practice remains to be seen.  But the fact is, with honesty, appropriate communication styles, and not denying each other our feelings we may find our relationship more flexible then we think.  The important thing is being together, being true partners and companions in what remains of our lives. 

Only now have I done research and actually ordered literature identifying the ways to approach 'open' relationships, the challenges involved, how to overcome them.  I wish I'd done this type of study sooner.  From the experience of so many people 'we', my parnter and I, would have avoided so many growing pains only to get to the exact same point. Perhaps the experience is the only way to drive it in.  Like the parent that preaches to the child sometimes it is all theory and lip service, but the child messes up anyway and learns the hard way.  Hard Knox is a brutal neighborhood--you never forget it.  

 The love we have for our children is unfortunately the purest form of unconditional love.  Friendships are also a close form, but all in all, our chosen relationships tend to be filled with many expectations--some very merited and necessary to keep from being taken advantage of--but some that inhibit a love state that is, forgiving, safe, unconditional and far more enduring.

Ultimately isn't that what all of us want?  Why must we force and enforce it with expectations that tend to operate against us being human.

Stay tuned for Round 3.....