Got Closure? How to Move Forward

With our challenges and experiences
we learn and grow.  Our
relationships bring us many challenges and experiences, and through our
relationships we learn and grow.  This
is how we help each other.  We may
not even know that we are doing it, but just by being in a person’s life, in
some small way, we are contributing to the learning process, as they are
contributing to ours.  Our actions
affect other people in ways we can’t even imagine.  Even in times when we feel hurt by someone, that is an
opportunity for us to learn and grow. 
We might not realize it in the moment, but in some strange and
miraculous way, we are helping each other by going through this experience
together.

 

Closure is different than
grief.  Grieving is looking back;
closure is about looking ahead.  We
want to let go and move on.  This
is what closure gives us.  We may
have gone through the grieving process and still not have the closure we
seek.  The law of relationship
helps us to maneuver our way through the five set process of closure:
Recognition, Acceptance, Understanding, Integration, and Gratitude.  When we reach a feeling of gratitude,
we know we’ve come full circle to experience closure. 

 

Closure is actually the perfect
word for it.  It’s more than neatly
tying up loose ends.  Think about
life as a series of events and relationships, all linked together in some sort
of artistic way, like a beautiful piece of jewelry.  We can’t wear a necklace or a bracelet if the chain is just
left dangling.  The jewelry maker
finishes off the piece by adding a clasp, one loop that kind of ties together
the beginning and the end, the start and the finish, so that what we are left
with is one strong continuous chain. 
Our closure is that clasp. 
Closure helps it all make sense. 
It turns something seemingly broken into something useful, purposeful,
and lovely.

 

Lissa
Coffey is the author of CLOSURE and the
Law of Relationship: Endings as New Beginnings.  http://www.ClosureBook.com