Don't let these dating deal breakers keep you from the One.
Last week, we clued you in to 10 dating deal breakers that really aren't—and could be keeping you from the One. Some of you agreed. An awful lot of you thought we were raving lunatic nut jobs. But bear with us. We're only looking out for your best interests—which is why we wanted to bring you 10 more dating deal breakers that, under most circumstances, shouldn't really be considered deal breakers. Because beneath that nervous tic or that crustache or that really ugly shirt is the man of your dreams. You just have to look past superficial details and find out who he really is.
1. He has a lip ring; you're into pearls. Are you worried that your parents will be horrified? Or that you'll have nothing in common? Don't worry about your parents; they'll come around. As for your disparate interests, it'll be nice to explore something new. If you dated the male version of you, you'd eventually end up bored. And besides, lip rings are hot.
2. He says he would "never" do something you think is essential. Example: "I would never send my kids to public school." "I would never consider leaving this neighborhood." "I would never go hang gliding with you." The thing is, people often exaggerate, or say things they don't fully mean.
Once he understands that something is important to you, it's possible he'll change his mind. Just don't exchange rings before you've confirmed that you're on the same page in terms of things that are completely nonnegotiable ("I will never have kids." "It is essential for me to be in an open marriage." "I need you to BLANK in bed.").
3. He's not the best between the sheets. Luckily, bedroom play can sometimes have a steep learning curve. And when it comes to hot spots and intimate tricks, no two women are alike. You need to speak up about what feels good to you. We assure you, he'll be eager to learn.
4. He's too good between the sheets. Because he's had experience. Apparently a decent amount of it, and if you think too much about, well, that can be a turn-off. The thing is, he is with you now. So relax, reap the benefits, and be safe, as always.
5. His family is insane! So his mom is certifiable, his brother is in jail and his sister thinks she's Lord Voldemort. That doesn't mean he's crazy. Give him the benefit of the doubt; a lot of good people come from difficult stock, and are more open-minded and patient because of it. And tell me: would you want to be defined by what your siblings do?
6. He has an STD. It's scary to consider risking your health in the name of love. But if you're both willing to take the necessary precautions, it's more than possible to make this one work. Consult with a doctor before engaging in any intimate activities, in order to learn how best to protect yourself. Then go ahead and have fun, you two crazy kids! Being diagnosed with an STD shouldn't condemn one to a life of celibacy. Living With An STD
7. He has mommy issues. It can be tough to deal with guys who obviously haven't cut the umbilical cord. But consider this: oftentimes, the men who hold their mothers to an elevated level of respect are the ones who treat their ladyfriends best. Just be careful not to let his familial loyalties get out of hand. If your relationship gets super-serious, he should understand that, as a couple, you should always present a united front when dealing with the fam.
8. He's taking antidepressants and/or anxiety meds. A lot of people think that antidepressants are a red flag but, quite often, the opposite is true. Almost 10 percent of the U.S. population suffers from depression, and many of those people go untreated (and are sort of unbearable to be around). Someone who is on medication is someone who is in control of his mental health.
9. He lives with his parents. If he's there because he loves mom's cooking and doesn't like doing his own laundry, we have a problem. If he's there because he's saving money or is between apartments or is caring for an aging parent, you can't fault him for that. And at least you know the situation is (hopefully) temporary. If he shows signs of ambition, cut him some slack. Besides, we bet his mom makes a mean veggie casserole.
10. His BFF is a lady. And they used to date. Or at least you suspect they did. Look: if his best bud is of the female persuasion—whether or not they were romantically involved in the past—you shouldn't automatically assume that they're holding on to a secret love for each other.
Besides, he appears to be interested in you. If he's sneaking around in order to hang out with her, then there might be some cause for concern. But otherwise, you should trust him. And, of course, suggest that the three of you hang out together.