One woman is done being a surrogate girlfriend.
Some women are forever attracted to jerks. Others are great at building healthy relationships with good guys. Still others are addicted to unrequited love. Everyone has a pattern. Me—I find myself, on repeat, forging relationships with men who don't think we're actually dating. In other words, I'm an expert at the "fakelationship." The Frisky: Six Lessons From My Last Breakup That Are Getting Me Through This One
So what exactly is a fakelationship, you ask? If you've ever been in one, you know it. It's a "friendship" where you text, email, talk on the phone, and hang out pretty much constantly. Where if 48 hours goes by without some kind of contact, you feel like something big is missing from your day. In some fakelationships, you hook up while maintaining that you're "just friends." In others, it feels purely platonic, though the level of emotional dependence is way stronger than a typical friendship. Think "When Harry Met Sally," before the titular characters realize they're actually in love. The Frisky: Thirty Annoying Things Men Assume About Women
Like most real relationships, my fakelationships have been fulfilling and disappointing, enduring and brief. But no matter what, there comes a time when they must end. Only, it's tricky to break up with a man you aren't actually dating. The first question I always ask myself is, "Does the man you're (not) dating need to know you're in a fakelationship before you end it?" Often, the answer is no. It may take two to tango, but it only takes one to stop tangoing. The Frisky: The Top 10 Reasons She Dumped You
It's usually my boots that do the walking away from my fakelationships, for reasons I would defend in any court of law: Said man has a girlfriend. Said man is single, but expresses no desire to be my boyfriend. Said man shows no interest in building an intimate life with me beyond moaning about his problems, ad infinitum. One of my fakelationships, with a man I'll call Jim, encompassed each and every one of these elements. The Frisky: MERRIMe, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating