Lima Beans

By

Lima Beans

So are these the midnight mutterings of a mad woman? Or pearls of wisdom found on an unlikely shore? I guess it’s for the reader (providing anyone is vaguely curious enough to read this.) to decide. For me it is a whirlwind of love, ire, angst, and complacency all formed into one nasty spit wad and launched at the world.
So last week I had a birthday, my 24th. Nothing so spectacular about 24, right? I can already vote, smoke, drink, get into R rated movies, buy cough syrup; yet I'm not yet old enough for 35 cent coffee at McDonald s or to receive AARP flyers in the mail. But I realized something last week. I am old enough to look on my past with fondness, appreciation, and more than a little "WHAT WAS I THINKING!!" and a healthy dose of "OMG!!" However, I am still young enough to believe in fairy tales and enjoy a fall day at the park, even if the other parents do look at me funny when I slide down the slide ;-) and unfortunately young enough still to want to stomp my foot and get pissy when life doesn't go my way (maybe some things won't ever change). Maybe the maturity is in the "want to" without following through; but that is for another day. The experts say you write from what you know and what do I know best but childhood. Soooo here it is!
Life is like that pile of lima beans (insert your own childhood nemesis) your mom plops on your plate. You have pork chops, macaroni, carrots, peach cobbler for dessert, and last and definitely least on the tasty charts lima beans. An almost perfect setup, but here's the deal the cobbler is small and the diners many and not a mother so mean as yours in all the room; every other kid has half the lima beans you do and the rest well their moms are softies and will cave at the first moan. You have to eat them all and before the others so you can have the corner piece with the perfect blend of crunchy crust and sweet syrupy gooiness. Now wipe your mouth and let's get down to business.