4. She wants you to be the submissive one: Getting dominated might not be her thing, but she might want to dominate you. Yes, even if she's the meek and shy one! Speaking from a lady's point of view, it can be awkward to tell a guy you want to dominate him because it's hard to ascertain which guys will think it's too emasculating. (I am not saying a man getting dominated has to be emasculating; some guys just perceive it that way.) But if you think your woman might get her rocks off by playing the sex goddess, you getting dominated is worth bringing up.
How to ask: Does your lady ever ride cowgirl? If that's your favorite move — and in my experience, for a lot of guys, it is — tell her that you just LOVE her in control. Then suggest the same things that I recommended under the "She wants to be dominated" section — say you want her to give you a BJ while you're blindfolded, then with your wrists tied to the bed post, etc. If she finds her inner domination queen, you're a lucky guy!
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5. She wants to be spanked: Lightly spanking a woman (i.e., nothing that could cause a bruise) can feel amazing for both of you: I've heard lots of women say that getting spanked sends lots of tingly feelings to their vaginal and anal areas and I’ve heard lots of men say spanking a woman makes them feel like they are physically demonstrating their lust. I've been pretty open about my own enjoyment with getting spanked and, I promise you, lots of women really like it. Unfortunately, asking to be spanked can be embarrassing for a woman because, well, it is sort of silly!
How to ask: Just like when you're asking a woman if she wants to be dominated, the key is to take baby steps. While you're making out, touch her ass a lot; squeeze it, rub it; show her you think her booty is a-maz-ing. Whisper in her ear, "Can I give you a little spank?" If she says yes, do it once, softly. Ask, "Do you like that?" If she says yes or even if she's ambivalent, ask if you can do it a few more times, all the while kissing her and still squeezing and rubbing her ass. Then you should probably stop. Next time you guys are cuddling, bring up how you liked giving her little spanks and ask if she wants to try it again sometime. If she's receptive, ask her if she wants you to do it harder or if she'd like to lie in your lap while you spank her. One more thing: my advice about dominating a woman is the same here, too. Do not call her names or humiliate her unless she tells you that's what she wants. For all you know, she has issues left over from childhood about being physically punished and calling her a "bad girl" might be upsetting. The same goes for women who might have had abusive relationships in the past: Even if your woman really likes getting spanked, it's important to remember that spanking is still hitting and you need to make it 100 percent absolutely clear that you're only doing it in the context of sexual arousal. Understood? Now go get it on.
Help me, Frisky-verse: What other things do women love to try in bed that we're sometimes too self-conscious to ask for?
Written by Jessica Wakeman for The Frisky
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