Coworker: Sandy… can I ask you a nosy question??
Me: Sure, what??
Coworker: Your boyfriend is younger, right??
Me: Why yes…. yes. he. is. (smirk)
Coworker: Sooooo, have you watched ‘Cougar Town’?? (smirk)
Oh gawd, is he looking for a fact-checker?!? Because I am NOT a cougar!
Confessions of a reluctant cougar….
A year and a half ago I joined an online dating site. During the
initial setup, I set my age perimeters to younger than my (then) 39
year old self. Oh-yes-I-did!
When my sister found out that I was talking with a (then) 28 year
old, she gave me a tongue lashing for setting my age preferences at an
unrealistic range. I pointed out that my age range was only 5 years in
either direction and that the 28 year old must have set HIS age
preferences at an unrealistic range. (ha-HA!)
When I went on a date with the unrealistic-age-range-setter, I did NOT know it was a date.
It started with a billion hour IM session. I had never IM’d for
longer than 10 minutes. I found it boring. Then, along came Scott. He
initiated it with a comment about Morrissey and I was hooked. I was
literally falling asleep at my keyboard, because I didn’t want to end
the conversation. Eventually the IM session ended, but only for the
night. A few days later, in an email, he said I should size him up over
I don’t know why I didn’t know it was a date, but I didn’t. Perhaps
I was afraid if I went in thinking it was a date, it would turn out NOT
to be a date and I’d wind up disappointed, or worse yet embarrassed.
Confession #2.5…. I tend to over-think things! In the end, I told myself that I was just meeting him as a friend….. UNLESS….. he kissed me.
He kissed me.
As he leaned in for a kiss, my first thought was, “Yesssssss! This
IS a date!” But ever the conscientious fact-checker, I ever-so-smoothly
brought up my doubts. No, not DURING the first kiss, but shortly
afterwards. He laughed and confirmed our date night status.
I believe in signs.
We walked laps around Sausalito that night. It was while we were
walking up a long set of stairs that he casually points at something
and says, “Look”. I follow the direction of his finger, expecting to
see a shooting star, a cat, or a pretty building…. but no…. it was a
floor to ceiling bedroom window and through that bedroom window there
was a man, standing like Leonardo Dicaprio… this man WAS king of the
world! But, unlike Leonardo, this man was standing naked, at the end of
a bed, pounding the hell out of some woman!
If that’s not a sign of good luck on a first date, then I don’t know what is!
Dating someone younger does NOT make you feel young. However, being with someone who “gets you” makes you feel ageless.
I’ve been dating Scott for over a year now. I’d be lying if I said
that it’s only when other people bring up the age difference that I
remember that there is one. I have my moments where I can practically
feel the fine lines sprouting around my eyes. Then there are the
mornings I go into the bathroom, take one look in the mirror and
internally shriek…. Class-5-tornado-hair AND fine lines is enough for
me to want to permanently install a keg of Oil of Olay over the
bathroom sink. But then, I stop… take a deep breath, brush my hair into
a ponytail and remember the wise words I once read from an interview of
Antonio Banderas. He said, “Wrinkles are beautiful too….They are like
carats, the more the better….” It’s even more affective if you can
imagine him saying this with his accent…. Mmmm…. Um, sorry… I just got
distracted for a moment. ANYway, I’m not sure if my fine lines will
ever be sparkly, like diamonds… perhaps that’s just a Hollywood thing.
Regardless, it’s a nice reminder that age can be beautiful too.
So yes, I’m dating a younger man…. But does that make me a cougar?!??
Hell no! Anyone who know-knows me, KNOWS I’m a dog person! And, as
fate would have it…. He’s a dog person too!
Lucky-lucky- me….. RAWR!!!