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Coworker: Sandy… can I ask you a nosy question??
Me: Sure, what??
Coworker: Your boyfriend is younger, right??
Me: Why yes…. yes. he. is. (smirk)
Coworker: Sooooo, have you watched ‘Cougar Town’?? (smirk)
Oh gawd, is he looking for a fact-checker?!? Because I am NOT a cougar!
Confessions of a reluctant cougar….
A year and a half ago I joined an online dating site. During the
initial setup, I set my age perimeters to younger than my (then) 39
year old self. Oh-yes-I-did!
When my sister found out that I was talking with a (then) 28 year
old, she gave me a tongue lashing for setting my age preferences at an
unrealistic range. I pointed out that my age range was only 5 years in
either direction and that the 28 year old must have set HIS age
preferences at an unrealistic range. (ha-HA!)
When I went on a date with the unrealistic-age-range-setter, I did NOT know it was a date.
It started with a billion hour IM session. I had never IM’d for
longer than 10 minutes. I found it boring. Then, along came Scott. He
initiated it with a comment about Morrissey and I was hooked. I was
literally falling asleep at my keyboard, because I didn’t want to end
the conversation. Eventually the IM session ended, but only for the
night. A few days later, in an email, he said I should size him up over
I don’t know why I didn’t know it was a date, but I didn’t. Perhaps
I was afraid if I went in thinking it was a date, it would turn out NOT
to be a date and I’d wind up disappointed, or worse yet embarrassed.
Confession #2.5…. I tend to over-think things! In the end, I told myself that I was just meeting him as a friend….. UNLESS….. he kissed me.
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He kissed me.
As he leaned in for a kiss, my first thought was, “Yesssssss! This
IS a date!” But ever the conscientious fact-checker, I ever-so-smoothly
brought up my doubts. No, not DURING the first kiss, but shortly
afterwards. He laughed and confirmed our date night status.
I believe in signs.
We walked laps around Sausalito that night. It was while we were
walking up a long set of stairs that he casually points at something
and says, “Look”. I follow the direction of his finger, expecting to
see a shooting star, a cat, or a pretty building…. but no…. it was a
floor to ceiling bedroom window and through that bedroom window there
was a man, standing like Leonardo Dicaprio… this man WAS king of the
world! But, unlike Leonardo, this man was standing naked, at the end of
a bed, pounding the hell out of some woman!
If that’s not a sign of good luck on a first date, then I don’t know what is!
Dating someone younger does NOT make you feel young. However, being with someone who “gets you” makes you feel ageless.