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Your mother-in-law will never tell you, but she still wishes you understood these things.
By readers digest — Written on Sep 27, 2021
Let's face it: no one wants a Jennifer Lopez-Jane Fonda Monster In Law situation.
But that's fiction, right? *gulp*
This is the woman who gave birth to him and knows him probably better than you do, no matter how long you've been married, engaged, or been dating.
Chances are you've built a relationship with your mother-in-law.
So, keep or build a better relationship with his mother by remembering these things your mother-in-law would like to say about your marriage, but won't (you hope!).
1. I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role. It hurts to be downsized.
2. I know he's your husband now, but he's still my son.
3. You don't seem very confident about yourself. The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I'm very careful what I say around you.
4. Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, "That's it. No more." Yet look at me: I'm about to send another present. I guess that's how I am.
5. We mothers say to our children, "I want you to be happy." And we mean that. What we don't say is, "But I would like to be happy too."
6. I've bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won't you ask for my advice?
7. When I visit you, I'm not coming for a white-glove inspection. I'm just coming to see the family.
8. When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don't call your house. I call his cell phone.
9. I'm so happy that you allow my son — your husband — to visit me on Mother's Day. It's a long trip and a big expense. I'm truly appreciative.
10. My dirty little secret: I'm afraid that if I don't get this right, you'll cut me off.
11. I'm in competition with your mother. She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can't afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that's enough and that it's appreciated.
12. Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things. I'm lucky to have you!
13. I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: "Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill."
In the end, communication always matters.
Just know that you are a second daughter (or only daughter) to her, and she just wants what is best for her (not so) little boy.
Let this be a reassurance that you are a good daughter-in-law.
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Sources: Susan Abel Lieberman, Ph.D. (The Mother-in-Law's Manual), Jane Angelich (What's a Mother [in-Law] to Do?), and anonymous mothers-in-law in four states.