Meeting his friends for the first time? Here's how to make them like you.
Over the weekend, I hit up a going-away party for a close friend. Going-away parties really let you know who your buddies are and, though it's of the bittersweet variety, are tons of fun. They are not, however, a traditionally great time to introduce a new squeeze (even if it does offer a certain effective symmetry). But a pair of new friends (a guy and a gal) were brought to the show nonetheless, and both got solid Bs (yep, we judged them). This is what you can do to ace your own meet-the-friends test:
1. Show up
A real smart guy once said that 90% of cheerleading camp is getting there with your pom-poms. That guy was a real Alfred Einstein, because actually caring enough to clear schedule space is a biggie.
2. Find common ground
The battle to win these bozos over begins with a single mutual interest. Don't overdo it, though. I got sucked into a running conversation about early '80s punk rock just because I really like Social Distortion on Saturday.
3. Know one thing about a few people
No one is ever going to call you on the phrase "BLANK has told me so much about you…" But, just in case, following that line up with a question about something that person is into is a great tactic. It appears people really do like talking about themselves.
4. Say a person's name
If Ryan Gosling in Lars And The Real Girl taught us anything, it's that a person's most favorite sound is their own name. Use someone's name liberally, and they will think you're a real Sammi Sweetheart (though less of a wet blanket).
5. Don't argue
I understand that you may have some strongly-held opinions, and that at least one of your new squeeze's friends is sure to be a raging goober or a blithering assrod, but if the convo takes a hard swing out of friendly and into fist-y territory, you may be on the outs forever.
6. Be into your date
Your style of dating may not involve things like compliments, PDAs or being really nice. Still. Behave with a little bit of tenderness and, I don't know, have really nice things to say about your date, and periodically swing by to see what he/she may be up to.
7. Be a good sport
This goes with item #1 but, in general, go with the flow. I understand that you may not like sushi on grounds of dolphin friendliness (which I'm also against), but be a sport, be a pal, play Pictionary and be nice about it.
None of this is to suggest that you should be a milky milquetoast or someone other than yourself. Unless you're a spoiled, cold, pushy, selfish, grumpy sociopath who can't be bothered with other people's stuff. In that case, feel free to be someone other than yourself, for the rest of your life.
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
- How To Manage The Stress Of Meeting New People
- Dating Don'ts To Avoid When Meeting New People
- 37 Friendship Quotes: Only The Best For Your Bestie