Stop lying to yourself: Trust me, I've lied to myself too. I've told myself I am perfectly content with my beautiful, blonde 2-year-old son and my sexy magazine career. I've called myself the mom version of Carrie Bradshaw just to up my fabulous single status. Newsflash: Carrie married Mr. Big in the Sex and the City movie. So, yeah, I'm a big, fat liar. I want a husband. I want more kids. I want a golden retriever for those kids to play with. According to Spencer, admitting this is key. "Being single definitely wasn't always the best, but I felt I had to say that [I was happy being single]. Why? Because I felt there was nothing sorrier than a single girl who wished she wasn't." This is insane, people. Spencer is right. If you want a boyfriend, admit it. Tell the universe what you want and it will come to you. Not into the Secret? Do it anyway—trust me.
Go to your happy place: What place can get you out of a funk? The dive bar down the street? The bookstore famous for its cupcakes? A sweat session at the gym? Your happy place could also be his. Spencer writes: "The way I saw it, if I was searching for my partner in crime—my other half in love—he would love my favorite place too." Not only are you going to lift your spirits, you're going to spy for guys. I, myself, love to multi-task. Dating Myths Single Women Continue To Fall For
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As a single woman who doesn't want to be single, I was the last person who thought self-affirming was the answer, but it really is. Regardless of whether or not I have a hot date this weekend, I do have a good attitude about the potential hot dates in my future, thanks to this book. Besides, who wants to be around a sorry, sad grump? No one. Not your kid, not your boss, not your best friend. Perk up for both yourself and the people around you.
As Spencer explains in her book, your thoughts are already influencing your dating life. Dating optimism "is not something you choose to start using. Like gravity it is already happening, all the time. It's happening to you right now." So start rewiring your brain and you'll be that much closer to finding your half orange.
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Want more? Check out Meeting Your Half-Orange by Amy Spencer.