John Mayer Overshares In Playboy, Cries

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john mayer playboy interview text
Surprisingly, not everything was about butt holes and masturbation.

Realizes that pornography distorts expectations in relationships:
Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation's expectations. How could you be constantly synthesizing an orgasm based on dozens of shots? You're looking for the one photo out of 100 you swear is going to be the one you finish to, and you still don't finish. Twenty seconds ago you thought that photo was the hottest thing you ever saw, but you throw it back and continue your shot hunt and continue to make yourself late for work. How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It's got to.

Was not the life of the High School party:
I wasn't going to parties. I remember being in my room when there was a party across town, sitting in my room and pretending I was at the party and playing for them. I remember saying to myself, If I have to sleep on a pool table every night on tour, I'll do it. I always had that desire to be a rock star.

Believes his reputation will prevent him from finding true love:
What if I meet a woman and it's love at first sight, and this woman has the greatest night of her life by telling me to f*ck off because she knows my reputation? I always say, "Turning me down is the new sleeping with me." What is a guy supposed to say to a girl who says "You do this all the time"? Girls always say that. Sometimes they say "I've been warned about you." But I can undo that in a couple of days. I have a line for that: "Keep your warning for a while; let's take it slow."

Doesn't want to divorce emotion from sex:
Because now I don't like jumping through hoops. It's been so long since I've taken a random girl home. I don't want to have to submit myself for approval. I don't want to audition. I'd rather come home and edge my sh*t out for 90 minutes. At this point, before I can have sex I need to know somebody. Unless she's a 14 out of 10.

Seems to actually care about Jennifer Aniston:
When prompted to continue dishing on sex with Jessica Simpson, he says Pardon me for interrupting. I love Jen so much that I'm now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like, "Why are you putting me in an article where you're talking about someone else? I don't want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells."

Readers: What do you think? Is the douchebag reforming?

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