Figuring out Faith on a First Date

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Holidays:  Is Easter or Christmas soon approaching?  If so, this is the perfect segue to finding out about your date’s faith.  Ask him or her about their traditions and ways in which they celebrate.  Almost all Christians honor God during this time, even if they don’t practice the rest of the year.  Maybe you’ll discover that your date hides under the covers while everyone’s at Mass.  If you’re looking for a partner with faith, this could be a deal-breaker. 

Childhood:  A person’s upbringing will reveal a lot about his or her values if you listen carefully.  Find out if religion was part of their life by asking where they grew up and what it was like.  It may be a natural transition to a discussion about Sunday catechism class, bible school or any of the sacraments.  Don’t pry into it, just let it happen naturally.

Family and Friends:  Parents and siblings are a great conversation starter.  Since discussions are usually light on a first date, the focus often centers on the topic of family members who just got engaged, married or had children.  Begin by talking about your own family.  Since this type of chatter is usually benign, it lends itself to exchange that can reveal a lot about your partner’s own background and beliefs.

Weekend Activities: Discuss your interests and hobbies together.  At the very least, it opens the door to asking what he or she does on Sunday mornings (or in some cases, Saturday night).  This strategy may not readily reveal if they are a religious naysayer but if your date is committed to their faith, it should come up during the discussion. 

Listening and Looking for Signs:  Listening is critical on the first date.  This will help  reveal subtleties that may be missed if you’re too busy interjecting your own opinions.  Keep your ears open to clues that may come out as you feast over pasta or chicken.  Is he or she nice to the waiter?  Do they have long-term friendships?  Are they loyal to their job?  Do they give back or volunteer for any charities?  A person’s faith is not only measured inside a house of worship; a good Christian can also be revealed on a day-to-day basis through their behavior.

If all else fails, put your desires and wishes on your online profile or meet people through your church singles network.  This will help ensure that you are meeting men and women who match your own beliefs.