Lila here~ So many times couples focus on the Big O
when they talk or think about their sexual encounters. That’s typical for men, who tend to be goal
oriented. It’s also typical for women
who are disconnected from their feminine essence or who have a lot of masculine
energy in their make up. Not that
there’s anything wrong with having an orgasm of course, but having it as your
sole focus can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you if you can’t
For women, having an orgasm during sex is
not automatic (except in the fantasy world of pornography). Some women rarely orgasm, but that doesn’t
mean they don’t like sex. Most women
need clitoral stimulation and some kind of emotional connection to be able to
orgasm. However, there are lots of other
things that feel great besides the Big O.
The body is full of erogenous zones if you take the time to explore it.
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The next time you are with a new partner, or
even if you want to revamp your sex life in an existing relationship, try this
instead. Focus on all the steps that
lead up to “the moment” instead of focusing on the orgasm itself. I guarantee that it will make the sex more
satisfying. Here are some suggestions:
1. Send a steamy text. Not raunchy, but suggestive or subtle. For example, “I was just thinking about how
soft your skin is,” or “I was just thinking about how strong your thighs are--mmmm.”
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2. Agree to abstain from intercourse for a
month. And then practice doing
3. Have a date night, and agree to only
make out. Kissing only, with maybe a little
roaming hands. Think back to high school
and first base, rounding toward second.
You go to fast and you’re out!