"We basically had the thing playing on a loop," said Dr. Tracy Klugian, one of the doctors at the Pine Grove Behavior Health and Addiction Services clinic, where the golf legend was undergoing treatment for sex addiction. "He kept screaming, 'I can't take it anymore,' but we refused to unstrap him."
Speaking briefly to reporters upon his release from the clinic, Mr. Woods confirmed that viewing the Edwards sex tape was "a traumatic experience," adding, "I may never have sex again." [Source: Huffington Post]
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P.s. The Borowitz Report is just for fun, i.e. fictional.