Rekindling An Old Flame?


The Cover Up
Before getting serious about your blast from the past, make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.  Evaluate your current situation and ask yourself why you want to reconnect.  Maybe you just came through a divorce or death or your last child moved out of the house leaving you by yourself.  If you’re feeling lonely inside and longing for a companion, it can often feel easier going back to a familiar lover rather than moving forward to someone new.  Sue, a widow and mother of three, was an empty nester for six months when she began dating her old college friend, Bob.  They’d remained in contact over the years but she never considered a romantic relationship until her youngest son left for the Army.  Bob and Sue dated almost a year before she realized that Bob was a just a replacement for the loneliness and that she was happier being by herself.  The relationship ended badly, taking with it the long-term friendship.  Unfortunately, Sue made the mistake of masking her real feelings by connecting with someone familiar without taking the time to heal first.  Evaluate your current situation and make sure your intentions are real before seeking out a past lover.

Despite the potential issues that could arise, rekindler romances have a high success rate.  The Lost Love Project, a study out of California State University, surveyed over 1000 men and women who tried a reunion with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend and found that 72% of couples who reunited after more than five years apart, entered into long-term relationships with two-thirds resulting in marriage or engagement.  Considering the high rate of divorce, it looks like these types of relationships stand a much better chance of working out.

Lori Bizzoco is a writer, journalist and blogger living in Brooklyn, NY.  She is currently working on a memoir detailing how she found love in less than a year.