Finding better times to have sex is one of the strategies offered in A Tired Woman's Guide for Passionate Sex. This book tells the story of my own (and many of my friends and clients) lost and thankfully regained libido, and provides a six-step program for regaining passion. The program is called "Five T's and a Bit of Spice." The Five T's are: Thoughts, Talk, Time, Touch, and Trysts. The spices are ideas to jazz up your sex life, such as toys and erotic movies. A Talk strategy includes erasing the question "Do you want to have sex?" from your vocabulary and starting all sentences about sex with the word "I". A Time strategy includes revving up your sex drive with exercise, and focusing on your body sensations as you do. One of the many Touch strategies is exchanging sexually provocative touches with your partner, especially at times when sex is out of the question. Another is to allow a sexual encounter to get you in the mood for sex, instead of being stuck on the notion that you have to feel horny before having sex. More detailed strategies from the Thought and Tryst steps of the program will be the focus of two additional guest columns. I hope they will help bring you a step closer to uttering the new sentence, "I have lots of energy for sex!"
Written by Laurie B. Mintz, Ph.D. for More.com.
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