The Busy Person's Guide To Romance

The Virtual Vacation (15 minutes, 0 dollars)
Find yourselves at work in separate cities on some random Wednesday? Take him on a distributed little fantasy trip. In the morning, under a subject line like "Lunch today?" send him a link to a restaurant in Turks & Caicos. Whatever his reaction, if any, just after lunch send him another email, recapping what a great lunch it was, and how nice it is to get away ("cuz work was killing us!") and offer to meet him by the pool after his massage. And so on. Be bold, go erotic, see if you can get him to play along.

The Stocking Stuffer (10 minutes, 10 dollars)
Why wait until Chrismahannukwanzadan to give those quick little thoughtful gifts that say I am ALWAYS thinking about you? Try to get in the habit of picking up a very little something that's small but personal—a jar of local honey if he has allergies, an iTunes gift card if she says she hates her music, etc.—and tuck it away. On some random day (NOT after a fight… this isn't about making amends) you can poke it into one of his socks for a little next-day surprise. You can tie a ribbon around it if one's handy, but don't wrap it (an iPhone hoodie can be a great gift, but not if one thinks one is opening a Tiffany's necklace). 12 Free Romantic Gifts

The Phone Switcheroo (10 minutes, 0 dollars)
This is a good one for when you're waiting in line at the DMV, or otherwise have nothing but time and strangers to annoy. On your cellphone, change your own "Hi, I'm not here right now…" answering machine message to a long ramble on what you want to do to her body. Then, when you know or suspect she's free, call her and hang up. When she calls back, confused, let the machine pick up. IMPORTANT: Don't forget to change it back, or you'll have some serious explaining to do to your boss, your mom, and the Roto-Rooter guy.