Is Pork The New Viagra?

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Is Pork The New Viagra?
President Cristina Fernandez of Argentina likes a little swine for getting in the mood.

In the classic comedy National Lampoon's European Vacation, a young Rusty says to Clark (Chevy Chase), "Dad, I think he's going to pork her." After spending years, in vain, begging adults to tell me what "pork her" meant, I found out and eventually gave up eating piggy food altogether (and am therefore ineligible to get the Swine Flu, I believe). Read: If We Stop Kissing Then Swine Flu Wins

With that as prologue, I nearly had 7-Up spew out of my nose when I read a crazy headline from Reuters. The story goes that the president of Argentina, President Cristina Fernandez, said, "I've just been told something I didn't know; that eating pork improves your sex life ... I'd say it's a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra." Senora Presidente was giving a speech to some pig farmers' association and used her sex life to bolster their spirits. Read: Free Viagra For The Unemployed

As you likely know, Argentina is beef country. Their gauchos are equivalent to our cowboys in terms of romance, toughness and mystery (think The Eagles' "Desperado"). The same cannot be said for your average pig farmer. While a pig would be far more likely to win a tic-tac-toe game or save a spider from getting killed than a cow, they carry a far less sexy connotation. Read: Do Aphrodisiacs Really Exist?

While I've never found the mixing of food and the erotic to be palatable, even in abstract, there is something decidedly not sexy about the combination of getting it on and honey baked ham. Somehow, it's even less arousing than the idea of chasing filet mignon with a quick romp in a bathroom. Read: Guide To Getting Lucky In The Lavatory

I'm probably obligated to make some joke with the punchline "lipstick on a pig," but I just don't have the energy. Enjoy European Vacation:

Any thoughts on what the least sexy food is? Any foods that should make Viagra watch its back?

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