Why "Put Yourself Out There" Is Bad Dating Advice


bad advice
Why this unsolicited piece of advice is useless to singles.

The thing is, both Cecilia and I aren't opposed to these stunts, necessarily. I've online dated. I ask dudes out instead of waiting for them to ask me. I've been set up. Hell, I once went to a meeting of the Surfrider Foundation because I thought I might meet a dude with a tan who could teach me to shred (didn't happen and I'm kind of embarrassed about that now). At some point, it feels like maybe these things won't be enough anymore—that "putting yourself out there" will mean doing even more, and the thought of that is, frankly, exhausting.

Ultimately, I think it's really nice to have friends who care enough about you that they want to see you enjoy the same happiness they have with their spouse/significant other/whatever. But seriously, advising the single to "put yourself out there" is not the way to accomplish that.


*Name has been changed

Written by Amelia McDonell-Parry for The Frisky

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