Brangelina Signs Separation Papers

Once upon a time, Hollywood golden boy Brad Pitt had a pretty perfect relationship with America's sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston. Then, Pitt filmed Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Angelina Jolie, and the sparks apparently flew. Pitt and Jolie morphed into Brangelina, and Aniston was left a sad, empty shell of her former self (or at least that's what the media would have us believe, despite backstage canoodling with Gerard Butler and other signs that she might actually be able to move past this if only everyone would just let her be).

We watched with shock and awe as Hollywood's hottest couple strutted red carpet after red carpet, became paragons of virtue with their various acts of charity, and built up their multicultural brood. It seemed that nothing could stop these two from eventually taking over the world.

But now, the New York Post reports that Pitt and Jollie have signed papers for a legal separation, with joint custody of their six children.

The two were never married—they vowed not to make that final commitment as long as homosexuals remained unable to marry—but they're reportedly hoping that these legal documents will aid in a smooth transition for their children.

Meanwhile, we're shocked. Brangelina has stood strong for five long years which, in the celeb world, is eons. And not only have they lasted so long, but they've managed to become symbols of generosity and diplomacy in the process. We hate to admit it, but we're almost sorry to see things end this way.

Meanwhile, the New York Post is already speculating that Pitt and Aniston may get back together, because they were "seen backstage together at the Haiti telethon in Los Angeles on Friday while Jolie was in New York promoting her next film, Salt." Because, obviously, Aniston has been saving herself for Pitt all these years, and the fact that he ran off with his co-star—a co-star whom almost every male and female on the planet wants to get with—is not an issue at all. Not at all!

And exes never chat together, either. Never.

Ah, well. If this is the end, at least you two had a good run. Hats off to you! (And Jennifer? Please, for the love of god, prove the media wrong.)