4 Reasons Women Should Only Date Online
Making the case for women to quit traditional dating and take up online dating instead.
Women who grew up with the internet and the conveniences of digital technology question what the "old-fashioned" dating that Shontell recommends even entails. Shannon, 22, from Nebraska, met her husband on eHarmony after realizing that the men she met offline did not meet her needs.
"It is so hard to meet somebody the traditional way today because our society is no longer traditional," she said. "We use social networking for everything else, so why not dating? The guys will be matched with your personality on 29 different levels. Your chances of finding that at the gym or in line at Starbucks are pretty slim." Top 8 Reasons Online Dating Is Great
Unlike their parents back in the day, this generation of twentysomething women actually has the privilege of weeding through hordes of males to find exactly what they are looking for.
"My ex of three years and I ended our relationship because there were certain aspects of our personalities that just didn't mesh," Shannon said. "I know that I never would have been matched with him on eHarmony. eHarmony isn't about not being able to find someone on your own; it's about utilizing resources to find the right person who you might never meet otherwise."
Since her boyfriend lives in New Jersey, Marissa is thankful that she ventured out of the New York social scene to find him via the internet. "Of course there are creeps online, but there are also normal young guys who have no other way to meet girls," she said. "If things do not work out with us I would join again because it boosted my confidence, was fun and gave me a reason to go out and meet new people."
#3. Online dating is efficient.
Haemin, 29, an eHarmony user from New Jersey, pointed out that people in her age group expect and appreciate efficiency.
"Maybe I really love the opera and want a date for La Traviata," she said. "I'd probably have an easier time searching for someone on Match.com for a fellow opera lover than at the corner pub." 5 Big Online Dating Don'ts For Guys
#4. Online dating is a time-saver.
In her article, Shontell quotes a 25-year-old Manhattanite, who claims to be "confident enough to find someone without [online dating]." If the feedback from twentysomething online daters is any indication, dating online is less about insecurity about attractiveness, and more about saving time. 4 Signs That A First Date Is Going Really Well
"[People] work long or odd hours and don't have time to waste roaming from bar to bar on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday nights," Haemin said, and even if you have time to spare, what if the man of your dreams doesn't? He might just be on the other side of town, volunteering or working away, and you might never find him unless you seek him out online. How To Be Less Intimidating To Men
I'm embarrassed to say I've tried online dating on several sites from yahoo personals, to webdate.com to eharmony even match.com. Its frustrating & a little intimidating when you think you found a potential match whom you'd like to get to know better only to find out that she's on there to promote her webcam LOL or when things get to a point from emails that a in person meeting is next suddenly the webcam or claim of being lost in some african or south american country comes out & suddenly its all a scam. While not as likely on straight paying sites that have no free options even Eharmony & Match.com have their share. You'll get an email with hey like your profile email me at ....... so you open the mail & click the profile to learn a little more about this person claiming interest only to find out that the profile's been turned off or deleted. I think every site or even in real life every bar is going to have great guys or gals looking for that magical one while of course the bulk might me just looking for one night stands or rebounds it does get discouraging though & you start to realy wonder if its all just a waste anymore then the bar sign & then if trying to date is.
I am 25 and met my current boyfriend 3 years ago on Lavalife. I was in University, having the time of my life, I joined because my friend had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and was looking for some guys to casually date. She had never done it before (neither had I) and she wanted to have someone to share the experience with. So even though I had lots of guys at my disposal at University bars, sporting events etc, I was pleasantly surprised with the amazing quality of guys that I met. Most of them were young professionals who joined the site because their work schedules and circles of close friends made it difficult to meet women.
Sure there are a lot of creeps out there, but you definitely meet men that you would have never crossed paths with otherwise. My boyfriend for example, if it weren't for online dating we would have never met out in the real world. I went to University, he went to college. I work in a hospital, he works in IT. When he goes out with his friends, they hang out in a big group at bars I would never venture to. He also hates the gym, so there goes that meeting place :) The thing is, he has been the best thing that has happened to me. To think that our paths would have never crossed otherwise is sad to me. I am the last person who thought she would ever try online dating, yet here I am! I would recommend it to all you "city" women!
Personally, online dating is not for me. I don't look down on people who do it or think 20-somethings don't need to do it. I would find it interesting to meet someone who tells me they met their current gf or bf online. Plus, I browse match.com whenever I'm bored, and I know there are plenty of good-looking people using those sites. My problem with online dating, for me, is that I find people online even pickier than people are in "real life"...and that's pretty damned picky. I'm not talking about having standards, because everyone does. But there are some articles on this site that basically hit on exactly what I'm talking about--many of the articles about meeting "Mr. Right" and "The One" and being single--people online just give ridiculous laundry lists or want very specific things that would be hard to fit...or they want someone just like them, which I don't see how that's desirable so much as maybe boring.
Plus, it weeds out people who don't meet some relatively silly requirement but could still be a great match for you anyway. Someone will see your pic or see that you like Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera as opposed to Oasis and Modest Mouse and immediately click off your profile. Another example--on match.com, I can't tell you how many times I've found great profiles, just someone I would love to sign up with match.com and pay JUST to communicate with them because we have a lot in common or they're very intriguing, and it seems like we'd get along great...only to get down to the race section and see they list EVERY race BUT mine. If match.com were free, I tell ya, I would have sent off at least 50 match messages by now letting someone know, "Hey, from what you describe, we sound like a great match, and I find you funny, beautiful and interesting. Too bad that, on account of your being a f*cking racist, we'll never get to know each other..."
You do bring up a good point, I think that is one of the flaws of certain dating sites. Unfortunately when we create "laundry lists" of what we expect in a mate, we can easily weed out potentially fantastic people. Especially when those lists contain silly or superficial requirements that should never make or break a relationship (for example, music, movie tastes, favourite colour etc).
I think if you do choose to date online, it is really important to keep an open mind and enjoy the experience of meeting different people. Never pass up on someone because they don't like Becks beer like you, or they don't watch "Grey's Anatomy". It will be a lonely life if you become that picky :)
I have often wondered if on-line dating pushes people to make lists of requirements. You can't answer all the ads, so you have to weed through by only looking at people of a certain age or height or whatever.
I also wonder if people don't end up often getting matched by some set of characterists but then discover they have no chemistry when they meet face to face.
Oh, meeting people "the old-fashioned way" is so 1990s! Such a waste of time and effort! It's like using a latrine instead of a toilet that flushes. It's like picking up lint off the carpet bit by bit instead of vacuuming.
Come on, already. I've been meeting people from online since I was *13* - I'm 27 now.
Listen, the chances of you meeting someone worthwhile and with whom you are actually compatible - someone who can become a friend rather than just an acquaintance - when you're out and about are almost nil compared to your chances when hunting online. Personally, most of the guys I've met at clubs were only worth a few sexual encounters. Or maybe I'm just pickier than most. Either way, you get to quality over quantity by cutting through the BS radically faster online.
I had fun dating on match.com and that is how I met my boyfriend. He is definitely someone I would not have met otherwise with both of our busy schedules and it is going great! I think the good thing about online dating is that you can be completely honest about who you are and what you want and weed out anyone who doesn't want the same thing. For example, I want kids and I could immediately eliminate the men who don't or aren't sure. You don't waste a lot of time that you don't have.
My experience with online dating at free sites is that those guys are only looking for sex. Lifewise, my cousin was used for sex after using plentyoffish.com, but became engaged 3 months after meeting her fiance through eharmony. Mind you, that was a hefty $200 sum, but any guy willing to pay it is truly looking for his soulmate.
And that is the frustration that guys like myself who aren't looking for just some random fling deal with. I fully understand that there are hordes of men who use free dating sites to try and get a couple one-nighters under their belts, but, in some locations, pay-for sites like eHarmony and Match just don't really work because the dating pool is too small. Additionally, the irritating part of pay-for sites is that, unless they've changed, they don't let you know that the woman who looks like she fits you to a "T" isn't paying for membership and therefore can't see your email!
Oddly, I got more responses from Okcupid, and I actually met my girlfriend through a facebook dating app that she mistakenly accepted!
Still, I fully understand where you are coming from. Female pen pals that I've made on Okcupid have often talked about the number of jerks that they get messaging them.
Women seeking men online has become a well-known phenomenon in the last few years. The primary reasons are the convenience that you can find your soul mate at the home computer. You are free to find whoever you like to date with. You can find local single men in your area or in different places. You control your own destiny. You can search for single men anytime and anywhere. The best part of looking for guys online for dating and relationship is the free of charge. You will not pay any money for using the totally free online dating websites. There is no hidden cost. You are free to register for a personal ad, search for single men, and interact with them. In other words, free dating sites will not charge your any membership fee.
