Today, Is the beginning of my Journey. As an avid investigator of the human condition, I have decided to begin a definitive look at how , we people of this world live our lives and conduct our relationships.
I woke up this morning , the day is full of promise. I'm working on an interesting project for a very uninteresting man. That man is Gay, no that isn't a problem. it just defines part of my perception issues. I think first about him as another man. however he is ruled by his feminine side, which unfortunately always confuses me. you see like most, I view the world superficially and with sterotype. it is only my intellect that allows me to further delve into my thoughts and look for hidden meaning. i check body language, double entandres etc.
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This self talk drives me to anxiety. I have to continue on and look at the situation for what it is.I was asked to perform a task of picking up some documents. I did the job , but was late due to bad directions from my GPS. When I got back to work , I heard the obligatory Thank Yous , but I was then chastized for not completing a previous scheduled task. I felt set up to fail.
So now i am writing and trying to clear my anxiety out of my system.I ask myself, Isn't this how all my personal relationships go. I concentrate on the task at hand, but miss some critical non verbalized expectation. I will continue to pursue my journey, but is it one of I need to know, or do I need to react.