Last October, my long distance boyfriend of two and a half years gave me an ultimatum. I either had to move out of state to live with him for our relationship to work, or we had to remain friends. That month he broke me. I was an utter mess. He broke up with me after a month of being back together and it tore me apart. So when he gave me this ultimatum I took it and went. I was at such a vunerable stage I did whatever I had to to keep the relationship alive. So in December I packed up two suitcases of a few of my belongings and I took a plane there. At first, I was really happy. And then it didn't take long for the homesickness to set in. I talked to him about moving back to my hometown and him coming with me. Afterall that's where my family is, and I left scholarships to come live with him. I had a lot there, that I wound up leaving for him. The few times we talked about moving to my hometown he said no, there's too many people here he wants to see every day. And I'm like what about me? What about the people I want to see everyday? And they always ended up the same way...with me in tears. It was always his way or no way. If I were to move back home I'd be going back alone. The thing is I feel like I gave up so much when he has less to give up. I'm not one to put value on what he has to give up, but I really do feel like mine is more significant. I have my whole family, including extended family back home. Not to mention my dog, my friends, what would have been my education, and my life. He doesn't have a great relationship with his parents, nor his brother or grandma. That's the only family he has here. And he's not in school, he hates his mediocre job, and our roommate is mooching off of us. Of course, when I moved out here he supported me financially until I got a job, but when it came to me missing my family he felt like I should be paying attention to him instead. And he still supports me financially when I need it. But after living here for a year and since I last visited home, this past Christmas, the more I yearn for my home. And by all means, I wish he would join me in the move. I love him, there's no getting around that. And I may be naive, but I feel in my heart that I want to be with him, get married someday. But he makes it so hard for me when I can't be with my family. I also know in my heart that I want to move back home. That's a decision I know is a gut feeling. But if he doesn't want to move with me, I don't want to break up. I have mixed feelings. I just don't know what to do. Please help me.
This piece of paradise is about as remote as it gets, and can only be reached by private boat. Located near the small fishing village Ruarwe on the northern shore of Africa's Malawi lake, this eco-lodge is surrounded by cascading waterfalls, mango trees, and jungle canopies. Their restaurant and bar lies within the granite boulders of an ancient waterfall and is lush with vegetarian snacks as well as a myriad of fresh fruit alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
Between Nkhata Bay and Chitimba, Boghoyo, Malawi
Photo: Lake Paradise