6 Celebrity New Year's Resolutions

By

Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart
Tiger, Lindsay, Morgan, heed our words!

3. Take your insulin.

Diabetes is a terrible, chronic, painful, and often deadly disease, as we've seen so recently with Casey Johnson and Brittany Murphy. And it doesn't just wreak havoc on its victims; parents, siblings, friends, and significant others all suffer when a diabetic doesn't take care of him or herself. So please, famous diabetics. Check your sugar. Take your insulin. Stop doing drugs. People love you and want you to live.

 

4. Open a freaking savings account.

You know what's bizarre and ugly? When incredibly rich, famous people die broke and their survivors turn into a pack of baying hyenas. Michael Jackson's death last summer led to his father and brothers bellying up to the First National Bank of Michael, only to find out that his debts were enormous. Likewise, Brittany Murphy's December passing yielded news from the National Enquirer that she owed more than her Beverly Hills home was worth, and her estate might not break even. That's just bad news for everyone who loves you, fametards. So open a savings account (ING Direct has nice ones) and don't buy that third solid-gold bidet. Michael Jackson's Ex-Wives Mourn His Passing

5. Incest, even fake incest = bad.

Normally, we enjoy hearing whom famous people sleep with. It's titillating and distracts us from our humdrum little lives. But when it's their dads? No thank you. Or their not-granddaughters? EW. There are six billion people on this planet, and a good million of them are famous. Surely celebrities can find bed partners they aren't related to. 4 Strangest Celebrity Family Relationships Ever

6. A very long engagement might be a good idea.

Sure, sometimes people just know that they've met the person they'll spend the rest of their lives with. But for everyone else, it takes time to get to know that special someone, and it takes communication and compromise to make a relationship work. So if you want to get engaged the day after you meet, that's fantastic, but maybe make it a long engagement, huh? Just until you find out his middle name, meet his kids, and spend a holiday with his family. It'll probably make for a better marriage. 5 Celeb Couples Who Got Married Too Soon

Photo via Bauer-Griffin.