Lovesick Dude Shut Down Newark Airport

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Lovesick Dude Shut Down Newark Airport
Airport security couldn't stop a man from one last embrace.

All of us have experienced parting with a loved one. Sometimes you're dragging away a U-Haul for a work re-lo, periodically your girlfriend is taking a semester abroad and you're terrified that some handsome Italian is going to sweep her off her panties and, once in a while, someone is just going on a long trip and will see you next fall. It's hard, it sucks and it's just something we have to deal with. Read: How To Make Long-Distance Love Work

But, according to New York Magazine, there are some who just can't say, "See you in my dreams until I see you with my eyes, beautiful," with dignity. Per the report, a fellow had a hard time saying bon voyage to his lover at the Newark airport and disrupted the whole dadgum show. A woman wormed her way through the security line and the guy fretted. He attempted to reunite with her but was stopped by some real hardcase from the TSA. But the TSA stickler became distracted by a phone call and the man slipped by to embrace, smooch and possibly fondle/dry hump his departing beauty. This momentary act of love/insanity inspired security to evacuate the airport, a hub for international travel, and delay travel for hours and hours at a time.

While many people would probably compare this to Love Actually, I feel it's a bit more similar to the events that precede the Iliad… Helen leaves for Troy, Greek panties are bunched and the rest is history (or, more accurately, mythology). I'm not sure if the lovesick guy or the TSA and the angry passengers are the Greek armada in this scenario.

Is there a lesson? Again, probably nope. Maybe tear-filled fare-ye-wells are best when performed at home or, at worst, train depots or cruise ship railings. Read: Holiday Travel Love Stories

Any thoughts on making the first day or so of separation easier? Does it involve sneaking a pair of panties* into someone's luggage? Is this a good reason to avoid dating women potentially out of your league?

*Note: I used the word "panties" three times. Good times!

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