Community Blog: How House Hunting Can Tear You Apart


Community Blog: How House Hunting Can Tear You Apart

But if there are these many issues when the only physical property at stake are some kitchenware and a lease, can you imagine how hard it would be when a house is involved? And a tax break that only one of you received? And a mortgage that only one of you paid? Assets can't be split down the middle because the state government won't recognize your union, however much in love you were. They only recognize you as individuals. They don't care who paid for what or who didn't. Uh-oh.

Buying together becomes even more frightening when it comes to a couple who hasn't even lived together yet. And yes, this does happen.


What if two days after the kitchen is done, you realize that the person you "planned to get married to" you legitimately can't stand? And the idea of being trapped in isolation with them outside of the city (because, let's be real here, most couples can't afford to buy in Manhattan)—the city where you have always lived, close to friends and other sources of entertainment—makes you want to take a gun to your head and to theirs?

Then you are s*** out of luck.

So, as Miss Stout says, "Look Before You Leap." Because the likelihood of one or the other of you breaking a leg, and not being able to walk for a long, long time, is more likely than the chance that you will be throwing a bouquet or hopping on your knee anytime soon. So, better yet, don't leap at all. Focus on loving for right now and the leaping will come later.

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