6. Boost your body image.
When you look in the mirror, compliment your skin tone instead of calling your thighs flabby. The more you tell yourself positive things, the more your brain will believe them, Dr. Laino says. "Your brain is convincing itself that you are what you say you are." Also remember that your partner is most likely focusing on the things he likes about your body, not the things you hate. 7 Body Parts Men Love—Just The Way They Are
7. Give yourself permission.
You're not being selfish by carving out carnal time. "Tell yourself, 'I'm allowed to do this. This is part of my life,'" Dr. Laino advises.
8. Get naked out of bed.
Dr. Laino recommends spending time naked together. The goal isn't to have sex, but to embrace, which will release the chemical oxytocin into the brain, making you feel safe and connected.
9. Don't make it about performance.
Forget trying to look or act like a porn star and focus on what feels good. If you feel anxiety or body insecurity creeping in during the act, take deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. "It's putting oxygen in your system and disrupting the anxious thought you had to make you focus on sensations in your body," Dr. Laino says. Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments
10. Leave some things out of the bedroom.
Talk about serious stuff with your partner in a neutral place so your mind doesn't associate the bedroom with fighting or heavy conversation. "Don't talk about money, parents, the kids or religion," Dr. Laino suggests.