...Throughout all of this there is one thing I have no control over...if the woman I'm with is willing to work on our problems or issues as well. For that to happen regularly foundations of strong communication and trust that I will not only listen to what she has to say but do my best to understand it as well.
It doesn't mean that she is right all of the time or that I am. We both need to be honest about that with each other. This doesn't mean that we don't have minor yelling skirmishes. Thats life...its bound too happen. Once again, the better both partners learn to communicate with each other, the quicker and more decisively these problems are laid to rest.
You are wrong about cheating; it's not so cut and dry. There are endless complicated reasons why a person might cheat, even a relationship that has love, trust, and respect. Having a desire to cheat or eventually giving into that desire does not mean that there is something fundamentally lacking in the relationship. A cheater could be afraid of the seriousness of the commitment that comes with the love they feel. Or a cheater might just have found someone else that they also really love and find irresistible.
A marriage needs sex and physical intimacy. There will be times when the amount goes down due to children, work (his, too), depression, anxiety/stress, illness, pregnancy, relationship problems, aging, and life in general. When this happens the two of you need to work together. Sometimes the solution will be to wait and have less sex for a few months, sometimes it will be to get outside help with your problems. Sometimes the solution will be simple - hire a babysitter and spend more time together.
In many couples, one person will want more sex than the other. You need to come to some kind of compromise that works for you.
Telling the low-drive person to have sex whenever the high-drive person wants it, or else, is not a compromise. It's just a way to make the low-drive person dislike sex and resent their partner. Ladies, don't do this. Having a woman in your bed who doesn't want to be there is not a gift to your husband.
Compromises are things like: The high-drive person may masturbate sometimes instead of sex. The low-drive person may try to give the other a chance to arouse them. The important thing is that it be a compromise both partners agree to...Be gentle and kind with your partner. Remember, people change. You may be the high-drive person desparate for more sex right now, but someday, you could be the one who doesn't want it as much. Or you could be the low-drive person now and someday be desparate for sex. Treat your partner the way you will want to be treated then.