Get A Man Straight Off The Conveyor Belt

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conveyor belt of love
A new dating show brings viewers yet another version of speed dating.

Just last week, we wrote about the possible benefits of mobile dating, the most attractive of which is plain and simple convenience. But at the warp speed at which technology moves, this is suddenly not convenient enough for us anymore. I mean, why get your man off an iPhone app or the Internet when you can more easily get him off... a conveyor belt, in much the same way you retrieve your luggage at airport luggage carousels!

At least that's the premise behind Conveyor Belt of Love, a new dating show on ABC (actually a British remake) that lets five ladies choose the dude of their dreams off a man-carousel bearing 30 men. Basically, five women looking for love sit in judgment before a conveyor belt as each lucky guy gets one minute to convince the ladies that he's boyfriend material. Some serenade the ladies. Others dance jigs or tell jokes. Still others don't waste time talking about themselves, instead enumerating the qualities they're looking for in a lady. Then, the five women pass judgment by holding up paddles labeled "Interested" and "Not Interested." If more than one woman is interested in a guy, he gets to choose who he goes out on a date with. The show then follows our coupled-up paramours on their romantic outings. Guy Steals Plane To Impress Girlfriend, Crashes

Our first thought: "We wish our boyfriend prospects came on conveyor belts! Then we wouldn't even have to turn on the computer!"

Our second thought: "What time is it on!? We need to set the DVR!" (The one-hour pilot ran Monday night, at 10p.m.; we wait with bated breath for the next episode.) The Best Dating Show Ever

Our third thought: "We hate ourselves."

Regarding that last thought, we're already used to hating ourselves, since we also regularly watch Millionaire Matchmaker, Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance. So we approach this new entertainment offering with morbid (and gleeful) curiosity. But what does it mean for love and dating? Is it an even more convenient form of speed dating? Is it a sign that blatant objectification is now equal opportunity? We're not sure but, for the moment, we're definitely (reluctantly) Interested. Speed Dating Dos and Don'ts