In 2010, consider some changes to vocab, self-improvement and The League.
Okay, we've finally got 2009 out of our system. How was it? Well, some things were great, some were terrible and some decidedly medium. So everyone take five seconds and shake out the last vestiges of that fun 365. Awesome.
Now that that's taken care of, here are a few things that we should let pass with the decade, along with a few things you should resolve to replace them with.
Let's kill the following terms:
Douchebag. Any reference to "douche" (unless specifically related to feminine cleanliness and, even then, sparingly) should be tabled.
Bromance. Hey! Dudes like each other. Sometimes we hug with our shirts off. Let's not make a deal out of it and we'll try not to use the word "brah."
Shortened words. "Sitch," "totes," and "negosh" are hilarious but make us sound like Dane Cook. 'Nuff said, hmm?
Please start using:
Vaginal Hubris. The FX television program, The League, introduced two fantastic terms. This particular one has to do with a lady's pride in her lady business. See Jessica Delfino.
Eskimo brothers. The League also tells us that a couple of guys who have made it with the same lady but not at the same time are called "Eskimo brothers." They share a bond deeper than bromance.
Banging. Sorry, it is still hilarious when a lady refers to sex as "banging."
Power bottom. A person who is ostensibly the junior partner in a relationship, but in reality is the topdog.
Stop with the following:
Sex on the dance floor. Daggering is a form of dancing cum copulation to Jamaican dance hall beats. Same for El Perro, doggy-style dancing to Reggaeton. Read: Dancing Can Improve Your Relationship
Dancing at weddings with someone you don't know. As long as you're not rubbing groins, dancing is a fun thing to do with a person you barely know and a good way to start a friendship. Read: 5 White-Hot Wedding Trends
Stop with the following:
Self-improvement for it's own sake. If you think you need to strengthen your marriage, your core or your vocabulary, have at it. If someone has guilted you into it, forget it.
Going along with something you disagree with. 2009 was the year of being nice. 2010 is the year of getting things done. Feel free to compromise, but don't get stepped all over.
Being nice to yourself. We all have flaws, especially me, but most of us are pretty good people doing our best. Don't spread yourself too thin, and know both your strengths and your weaknesses.
Community engagement. Get to know your neighbors better. Giving blood, time, expertise and orgasms will make you feel good, too.
While it may be difficult to get these new habits down immediately, a little mindfulness goes a long way. And you would be well-served not to say "app" when you mean application or appetizer. Also, start watching The League if you want to understand middle class, white dudes in their early 30s. Read: Celeb Relationship Resolutions For 2010
P.S. The Washington Post has a great guide to making your real new year's resolutions a reality.