The first year of marriage is the hardest, I'd been told many times by my friends. While I wasn't sure if I was prepared for the uncertain road that lay ahead, I certainly felt like I'd gotten fair warning and couldn't expect to be surprised by the challenges that would come once I entered marriage. Once the wedding is over, it’s the two of you, making a life together, and that's not easy for anyone.
So, I felt ready to encounter squabbles and misunderstandings and the taking-for-granted that comes when you know someone really well and expect to be around them for a long time. When something came up, I could tell myself, "OK, this is normal."
But there were some other parts of newlywed life that bummed me out, stuff that I never thought would have mattered to me ... until it did.
I was so focused on my wedding that once it passed, I felt lost. There was no focal point on the horizon anymore. This panicked me. Was I incapable of being at peace in my new life, or was I going to feel restless and upset forever without having something major to look forward to? Getting up, getting dressed, and going to work felt so blah, especially as fall turned into winter and the days grew darker. I hated this funk because it seemed like such a cliche. I'd heard that brides feel let down after their weddings, and I'd always thought that sounded like a symptom of spoiled princess disease. "Waah, your wedding's over, people aren’t looking at you anymore, waaah." Since I'd told myself it wouldn't happen to me, I felt like a jerk when it did. Nothing makes a depressed person feel worse than thinking, "My depression is so stupid." Then I'd feel bad for feeling sad, since Steve deserved a happy new wife, not a scowling crab, and I'd feel worse. "I just want you to be happy," he'd say, and I'd want to cry.
Find out the other surprisingly difficult parts of newlywed life at The Frisky.