1) She compared herself to Alan Alda.
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2) She referred to herself as a "tranny."
3) She was both embarrassed AND nervous.
4) She digs Salma Hayek's boobs.
5) Brian Austin Green somehow had something better to do than attend the awards.
In order, I think a comparison to Alan Alda can best be described as "meh" or a naked attempt to fish for a compliment.
Unless she was referring to a car transmission, I think the preferred term is shemale (or maybe it's transvestite). I've seen a handful men dressed as women and most of them got one of several qualities that she don't got: big hands, broad shoulders, an Adam's Apple and/ or a dangle down. If she is a transmission, then she's the Sistine Chapel of transmissions. Is she really trying to elicit a compliment?
It's OK to be nervous. And it's OK to be embarrassed. People probably are judging you. That's what people in the entertainment industry do, they judge, pick nits, find flaws and generally figure out a way to make themselves feel better at your expense. In essence, everyone in Hollyweird is Mystery and The Game is in full effect at all times. Sounds like she wanted someone to say, "Oh, you're great, don't be nervous."
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It's true, Salma Hayek does have a nice chest. Exposing said wonderful chest in the Banderas classic Desperado propelled her career (yikes, when did this turn into Mr. Skin's blog?). And if her (Hayek's) turn on 30 Rock was any indication, she loves and respects the magic in those sweater puppies too. Golden globes, indeed (beeeeeeew, that's a pun point). I think omeone was supposed to say, "Oh, Megan Fox, your breasts are lovely too."
Let this not sound like I guzzled a 40-ouncer of Hatorade, but Brian Austin Green seriously wasn't down with being her "Plus One" for the Globes? Granted, stodgy parties and foreign press-tinged awards shows are sometimes a major downer. But be a buddy, be a pal, don't make your mildly good-looking girlf (or is he her fiance?*) fly solo to a huge awards show. Can someone please be nice to Megan Fox?