| forums > Breakups & Divorce |
| What to do now? |
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I hate to sound like the jerk, but maybe you should just get back on the saddle. This happens when you date. You get up, you try again. And don't miss out on anything because you were wallowing. |
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Here is my theory, if you are exhausted then rest. Forget them. If that guy really wants you then he can pursue you. When I met my H, I wasn't ready to date, so I turned him down. He pursued me for almost 2 years before I relented. We dated for three years and we've been married for almost four. So, if he is worth it, he'll come after you. I am not knocking the pursuit, I am just saying don't let anxiety about what you are missing out on hinder you from taking care of yourself. Also, if you need a break from your ex then take it. I really don't think it benefits anyone for you to force a friendship that is just going to exhaust you emotionally and mentally. Just make sure you have other friends and family around you. Don't disconnect from all your relationships, but maybe take some time to rest in the ones you have that are fulfilling like your sister, your best friend, your mom....grandma, aunt, dad, uncles, etc. Cut yourself some slack and take a break. Take as long as you need and don't make any decisions about getting back in the game based on anxiety or fear. Do what is best for you in this moment. You'll know when it's time to get back in. Or if you need some more structure, have a friend help you decide a good timeframe for your break. 6 months. One year. I wonder what a year without men would look like. Probably a lot less stressful. |
Post break up...about month and a half. I'm tired. Just tired of feeling for a guy and then he bails. How much time should you give yourself to just chill? I really don't feel like caring for anybody ever again at this point because of the whole waste of time bullshit it often turns out to be. Met a cool guy just the other day, but I really had to think twice about contacting him. He gave me his email. I'd much rather just nix it...My heart is just really tired , and I don't want to get my hopes up anymore. I'm getting a bad attitude...and beginning like it's impossible to trust guys out there. So ...two questions.
1. How much time should I hibernate for? Should I even THINK about dating now?
2. Should I even bother trying to be friends with my last ex.?..given he WAS my friend for two years. It's worse than I thought because I lost a friend AND a lover...or should I just take that bullet and live with it ?